I’ve been getting some requests for drunk chicks on here and I’ve decided to let out some steam. I originally did some drunk girl posting a while back and I’ve decided to revive what I feel is a very important “calling you out because you need attention” type of segment. Bottom line, I’d fuck pretty much all of these girls. Another bottom line: none, I repeat none of the girls here are girlfriend material and most of them I wouldn’t consider all that attractive under normal circumstances. HOWEVER, on any given night, with enough alcohol and psychotropic substances, I’d plow into these girls like a farmer into his daughter. This first girl, Monique is the epitome of a myspace whore and she’s blessed us with multiple pictures of herself, her friends and her New Jersey fake mafia faggot collection.

There’s that Italian lip thing. What the fuck is it with the girls AND the guys from the “I want you to think I’m in the mafia but I really just have bad pit stains and am a complete loser” generation that have this need to fake kiss all the time?

Here’s Monique and her completely unattractive friend. Two reasons I’d fuck Monique: 1. The look on her face when I put it in her ass. 2. The look on her face when I “accidentally” came all over it. A very distant third would be the look on her friends face when I lured Monique away knowing that this girl was a complete cockblock the entire night because she couldn’t get any dick and I just stole her best friend away from her.

I like the guy in the background here. I’d like to think he’s thinking “wait a sec, wasn’t I in the EXACT same picture with this girl 5 minutes ago?” I can’t believe what a piece of douche this girl is. She’s 20 years old by the way. She also has like 50,000 myspace friends. Check it out. What’s truly disturbing is the amount of total cocks and vaginas in the New Jersey area. I weep for our present.

So Monique does have an incredibly hot friend. But here’s the kicker. Despite how hot this girl to the left is, she still fucks total douchebags on a nightly basis.

Bye trashy whores! Bye! Smell ya later. I encourage feedback from my readers. If you feel this segment is important to have another one, please comment or email my ass. These girls need exposure and really need to be put in their place. Sincerely,

A Pissed Off Mr. Landers.

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And because if you don’t know her by now you really really should. I first saw this woman in the movie “Lords of Dogtown” where she played a slutty latin girlfriend of a real dirtbag. She’s the one who hits on Emile Hirsch at a party and she’s wearing a neon green dress. Needless to say when I saw her I did not want to forget about her. Well, I have but surely enough ran into her Myspace Profile and for those of you that follow Entourage, she’s the new hottie on the show. Real tits, real latin spice, real sex appeal and I feel like if you were under the right circumstances she just might cook you dinner.

I think her and Paulina Rubio almost have a similar look. I’ll be posting Paulina eventually. This is the type of woman I’d obsess over. A lot of the girls I post on here I could handle seeing once and never miss them. Her? I just feel like I’d be all Kevin Arnold with. She’d be my Winnie Cooper and no matter how hard I tried to move on, she’d always be a part of my life. By the way here’s her website.

Hi Sofia! Hi! Over here! I’m the guy with the boner! Hi! Can you believe that “Boner” was actually a character name on”Growing Pains?”

What is that face? I’m trying to get a feeling for what the hell she’s thinking there. Fuck what she is thinking. I’m thinking I really don’t like sand because it gets all over my feet and clothes, but if she ever wanted to put sand up my ass I’d probably let her in exchange for a one hour breast massage session.

Chamber maids. Ah yes. As Seinfeld says, “it’s a woman in your room.” I agree, I’m pretty sure I’d fuck nearly any chamber maid. It’s just the thought of her having to clean up my condom and cum stains after we had sex that makes it all worthwhile. I’m not sure if Sofia has been nude in anything but check out her IMBD Stuff to make sure.

Until tomorrow. Fuck me.

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Aside from the fact that “Ardohain” is annoying as hell to type on a keyboard, this girl is quite a gayla spectacle. An Argentinian import spotted on the Pages of Myspace, I have taken to her quite well. As evidenced by an internet search and couple of closed door sessions, I realized that this woman was somewhat known. But I doubt people would care to remember the name Ardohain, so bringing her back into the public eye was both a blessing and a necessary maneuver. (Sorry for the having to thumbnail but the pictures were too big, too fucking bad you have to actually click on a picture to enlarge it)

Um. Yeah. She almost looks like an upgrade of Daisy Fuentes in her prime. That shirt could not be any gayer but whatever. Nice stems on top of that pineapple kiddo.

Some of the best pictures in the world are the candid ones. Now if they published THIS picture in whatever magazine she was posing for, she’d have been more well known. Can you imagine plopping your head right under that white region for about an hour? I don’t even think I’d bother to come up for air.

This is a very “Burciaga” like picture right here. Perfect glow on the body. Perfect tushy. Nice heel action. I don’t know, maybe the fact that the whole background is black is some computer generated thing. Perhaps it’s really a blue screen and there are like 5 guys with their dicks in the air waiting to have sex with her. At least that’s what I first thought. Makes perfect sense to me.

Needed to find something relatively dirty. Other than a completely fake, lame photoshopped tit shot of her, this was the best I could do. I think I did pretty well. If you disagree then A. you are wrong, and B. you can go fuck yourself because you’ll NEVER end up with a woman like this.

It’s nice to know she’s so athletic and limber. Watch out for that wood. That was just too easy.

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Well, I found another batch of Myspace females that simply amaze me. These two profiles are 100% fake. I have no question in my mind that these girls are webcam girls or something of the like. Nevertheless I swear, their faces are fucking golden. And Belushi, more blonds buddy!

“Heyy my name is Veronica, and i just started modeling for Victoria Secret…yeaa thats right bitchess im a lingerie model!..im 21 i like to have a good time goingg clubbingg,partyingg,beachingg it, andd modelingg for youu ;)..im up to meet anybody so just leave me a message and ill definetly writee back!” At least Veronica knows how to dictate properly. I’m also quite sure that a legit Victoria’s secret model would have as crappy and poopy a Myspace Profile as she would. Again, does any of this really matter? Obviously not as she is one of the better looking women we’ve had on here. Fuck an A.

I mean should I subscribe to Victoria’s secret now? Look at how her lip is sort of open there. Great work by the photographer. Is it even remotely possible to be a straight photographer for any type of porn magazine or swimsuit catalog and NOT splooge all over yourself during a shoot? Along the same lines, don’t actors HAVE to get woodroe’s when they do sex scenes? I mean seriously, when Antonio Banderas had to fake fuck Salma Hayek in Desperado, wasn’t he hard? Must have been. Any heterosexual would have to be right?

That brings us to Sarah and here’s her quote on her Myspace Page. “hey whats up???? my name is Sarah and i am a pron star!!! i love to just hang out with all my friends and play with them (if you know what i mean lol) well if you wana talk to me or get to know me then add me or mes. me!!!! ~Sarah this is me……..” How the FUCK does the porn industry get girls this hot? I mean I know this is yet another fake ass profile but still. Are there THAT many abused young women who have nothing to turn to other than getting cummed on by five guys, taking in the pooper and defiling themselves for my amusement? Look at how good looking this chick is, come on! And by the way, PRON star? Jesus age Christ.

Now that picture I like. These two ladies can come over and greet me anytime. Again, I’m still baffled at how hot some of these porn women are. I truly don’t get it. Just go out and marry a fucking rich guy! How hard could that be? At least then you can just have affairs, have unlimited money, stay hot forever and not have to live with the emotional and literal scarring of 18 inch monstercocks. God help us.

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