I’m almost pissed that her name is Lauren. It’s just too simple and does no justice. She should be a “Raven” or “Whorebox.” I gotta say I had a really hard time deciding which pictures to post of her. Her myspace profile is chalk full of fun, drunkenness and lewd behavior. Seriously man, this girl has it all. Well all except for the “reasonably well adjusted functioning in society” part.

Unfortunately this was literally the only picture that was somewhat isolated and you get kind of a clear look at her. Obviously it brings nothing to the table in terms of getting to see her face but I think you get the picture. Wait do you? Oh yeah, I have to spell it out right? LOOK AT HER BREASTS.

First off, I don’t care whether she was actually playing beirut at the time or just wanted to take the picture. Nothing turns me on more than rampant drunken beer games with girls that are better than average. She also has beer stains towards the bottom of the foot if you’re actually looking past her chest. I wonder what the guy to the left is gonna do with that yellow ball he’s palming…

Couple of thoughts here. Girl on the left. Definitely gets cock on her own but is without question Lauren’s “losery” bitch. It’s fine tough. Secondly, this guy’s name HAS to be Rocco or something like that. He might actually jerk off more than any male in America.

Who, seriously who the fuck posts pictures like this in their myspace profile? Look, I truly believe this girl is that fucked up. I don’t think this profile is fake by any means. Every picture in there is homemade. I’m just baffled. I truly am. I’m also a wee bit turned on and longing for college at this very moment.

Everyone needs a picture like this up on their wall.

Have a great holiday weekend folks. See you all on Tuesday. Please, for the love of Christ, go out get drunk, have lots of gross sex and report back to me.

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Well, I guess anyone that would replace a dollar sign with an ‘S’ deserves to make to this site as long as they have a vagina worth imagining. Sue Ann seems to have that. She’s also part of some crew of dancers because I posted her friend Tiffany a while back. Her Profile is filled with the same junk and douchiness so I felt it would be a great addition. Let’s take a look!

What’s going on in that back room Sue Ann? You can’t just be a cocktail waitress can you? You wouldn’t just stand in that position and give me a boner and not finish me off would you? I think that she would and she’d like it, tell her friends and have her guido guy friends kick you in the face afterwards.

Anyone that would voluntarily post this picture AND has a boyfriend at the same time? Pure pussmeat.

Classy.

Actually no, THIS guy is poo. We’ve seen him before. It’s Alex Armani! Go fuck a pole Alex.

I don’t like that red wall behind her. Actually I would if there were a gloryhole in it.

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Getting back to reality from our last two posts, Kara seemed a refreshing return to the world of “normal” chicks. You know, not the kind that you necessarily drool over in every picture but ones that you might actually have a shot at in a bar. Well, Kara is proof that if you head down to the south, stay for a while and hit on a lot of young broads, dreams do come true. From her Myspace Profile Kara states: hey guys im kara and im 19 years old and im bisexual im brittney and briana i love you girls. I’m not sure what to make of it, and I don’t really care.

What’s gotten into me? Two blonds in a row? Eh, her hair is somewhat skunked so I don’t care. My guess is that outfit is what she wore to dinner at her parents house.

Now how fun would these two be if all signs were a go and all inhibitions were lost? This must easily be the most frustrating site for any young guy that has a girlfriend or any guy that is married. I know it completely destroys every fiber of my being to post this stuff. But I gotta keep doing it. Fuck you.

I’d imagine this is two hours after the previous picture. I wish I had a picture for two hours after this one.

Happy Halloween!

Lollipop lollipop oh lolli lolli pop, lolli pop lolli pop oh lolli lolli pop. Lollipop! Boom, Ba dum dum dum.

If this is how she sucks a dick then I regret ever posting her.

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Of course you people know I’m being sarcastic with that title. While Anna doesn’t have the biggest brain in the world (at least she doesn’t appear so), she does compensate with large other things. There are also two very important points I’d like to make as well. One: She requested to be my friend on myspace. That’s right bitches, word is getting out. And Two: She’s 30 years old. We don’t get many of those on here. Congratulations you old bag! Actually a third. She’s blond. That’s a rarity too. Her Myspace page is filled with pictures and a link to her site. Yay.

Man I really want to fuck that car.

I can’t stand when photoshop edits out nipples. Unacceptable. That said, I don’t care at all, in the least bit, fuck you, whatever, you’re a whore. Thanks.

Hey! There’s like 2 Anna’s in this picture! Brilliant! Look at the reflection. It’s like an awkward camel toe shot. Her ass is really filled with underwear isn’t it?

All of my postings are proof that you don’t need porn or nudity to jerk off. I mean I prefer fisting but that’s just me.

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