So like any other weekday I was trying to find as many nude Lucy Pinder photos that was as humanly possible. So whenever I do a Yahoo Search or Google Search for her I come across those “yay, we’re playing naked in the water!” photos. Annoyingly though, Pinder is not the one who is topless, it’s that other broad. She happens to be Sophie Howard. So naturally I look her up on Myspace and spot her profile.  Sophie’s not half the woman Lucy is (except in the chestal area) but each funbag was certainly worth displaying on this here site. Is it me or does she have a bit of Katie Segal in her? Jesus if Peggy Bundy looked like that Married With Children might have been on another 25 years. Though I think once that lame kid Seven was introduced the show was pretty much over.

Something about a chick holding a cell phone and having a soccer ball that just does it for me. Yes because if it was an ugly woman I’d be all over that. Strike that, reverse it. Something about a woman with giant cans, red hot pants and a penchant for posing nude most of the time holding a cell phone with the slightest chance she’ll use it as a dildo does it for me.  Sophie Howard: tease.

I’d love to use each breast as a palette to draw funny faces on.  Kind of like a Sophie Howard potato breast.

You wish, I mean you truly wish you had Pinder’s looks. I wish, I wish I had knockers half that size in my face right now. You know something though? I wouldn’t go down on this chick. I’m just saying…Hahahaha, now that I think about it?  Are you kidding me?  To play with Sophie’s knockers I’d certainy be willing to compromise.

Huhhh! In the tub! Huhhh! Doin’ a little, ah, ah tub! Eh, it reminded me of that Eddie Murphy SNL skit. You know, when Eddie Murphy was funny?

Those of you who follow this site may remember way back when. Raven was my first lady in the “industry.” Well, that fine post was deleted and I’m here to set the record straight. I’m willing to jerk off right now to the cut in her jeans. I’m not even looking at her face. You know why she’s so amazing? She’s exactly the type of girl you’d see in a bar and say to your buddy “that chick is definitely doable, such a great face, not necessarily the “fake, plastic surgery, strip club” type but just an all around great girl.” Hahaha. That’s what makes me appreciate a specimen like Raven. Her Myspace Profile obviously does zero justice compared to some of her other stuff but I think I could get away with just posting this first picture. Oh yeah, and I haven’t forgotten about Carmella Bing either, she’ll be back soon enough.

Normally I’d say something like “damn I want to nail that car.” Sorry. I just can’t do that here. I can’t. She drives me ballistic man. The one button down? That is some serious torture right there. I seriously don’t even want to see her naked. Rarely do pictures with clothes on do the trick, but this is really some piece of work.

Do you have any idea how quickly the word “yes” would come out of my mouth if she asked me to marry her right this second? Dude she could be a crack addict and bang 20 dudes a day for all I care. If she looked like that all the time, pending there were no diseases, I’d find a way to deal with it.

alfjkaljkfaljkf;awieuropaiuajkgl;akbjl;ajkt;ljkr;oiaroiajgiojal;gjka;oit. Not a typo.

And have a Happy “Raven Riley placing the gift right on top of her vagina and you can see her black nail polished toes for further effect” Holiday.

It’s not often that I post a girl that I think is even remotely cool, let alone more of a badass than most guys I know. From a person who did the whole Twilo, club NYC thing for about two months one summer, I can honestly say that DJ-ing happens to be a profession that I’d imagine ranks way up there in terms of fun, being “cool,” and being able to pull loads of tail without much effort. Most DJ’s I’ve met are laid back, enjoyable people who have the ability to pump up any room they’re spinning in (if they’re good). When you add the fact that a DJ is hot? Well then that’s just kind of absurd and cause for rethinking any current relationship. When I landed across Tamara Sky’s Myspace Profile and then further found out she was in Playboy, I realized that I’ll have to make the trip to Miami to see her in person.

Yes, that’s actually a DJ, a very hot DJ. She’s not just a dumb bimbo with giant boobs who you, me, everyone stares at all day conjuring up stupid fantasies and knows that in reality she’s probably not worth a salt in real life. This Tamara Sky? As cheesy as it may sound, the sky really is the limit with this broad. Ok, ok, she’s probably an idiot. Nope, I refuse to believe that. There is a God somewhere.

What is that, the Lavender Sepia tint? It goes well with her pumps.

This is part of her Playboy spread. I forgot about that Tattoo. At 70 she’ll look like an idiot but right now she’s very close to being the perfect woman.

Imagine her blowing you while she were spinning the decks. Tamara Sky. I forgot to even mention how perfect a porn name that would be. She’s got it all.

I’m kind of in love with this girl. She seems so sweet! Yay! Hi guys! Want to play with my dogs today? And yet she just has the look of a good hearted girl who when given the right opportunity could bring you to blissful places that you never even thought were possible. Ah yes, and a word to the wise fellas…. Work on getting a strong back as her myspace profile states that she has a “fetish for guys with hot backs!” Ok Shannon. I’ll do that but honestly I’d rather look at your back, your side, anything. That body is illegal and that picture sure makes me miss my prom.

More sweetness. But even she knows exactly what she’s doing with that skirt. I’m telling you it’s that hint of eroticism that drives this picture. How gay am I? Seriously. I feel like I’m reviewing a movie here. The photographer was shooting for “I’m young, sweet but I can blow you like the best of them” and he really nailed it here. The kids will love this picture and so will the folks. It’s good hearted family fun. Sneak preview comes out in the bathroom when I’m alone.

And yet right here? There’s no hiding anything. Red dress forming that teeny tiny triangular shadow right between her thighs. I love the little things. She even looks a little messed up there. Maybe having that one drink that put her over the top and turns her into a sexual dynamo?

Two things stand out to me in this picture other than her belly ring and Elvis’ near erection: the pink sheets and comforter and 2. the fact that her bed isn’t made. Call me crazy but I’m assuming she just had a pillow fight with her two sisters (check out her profile, her sisters are hot). Estimated time to completion with her? Eh, as soon as my tongue touched her virgheen.

Just the positioning of her right hand is enough. Seriously it’s enough already. I need help.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are officially BACK. Back to the myspace profiles that got us to where we are right now. It doesn’t actually say it on her profile, but Vanessa here? I’d put my life on her being from the NY Tri-State area. What makes it so funny is that half of these girls have pictures of them with their nieces and nephews. And the pictures are the innocent cute posing kind. Yet, literally adjacent to that picture will be a photo of one of these girls licking another girls chest. Amazing.

In all honesty, the state she is in? This is about the ONLY way I’d probably ever want to interact with this girl. Nice leopard pattern though! Maybe she’s got a leopard patterned pube line. That’d be hot.

That’s got porn scene written all over it. You know what though? I guarantee, I guara-damned-tee that she took at least 100 pictures and finally chose this one to post. She was thinking “hmm, is it slutty enough? does it give off gangbangish vibes? yet will I still look cutesy?” Yup, works for me Vee.

Just for the hell of it I should post the pictures of her with her nephew. Then somehow track down her family and email them the url to this post.

Normally I’d side with this guy, but his tattoos and raccoon hair are enough for me to realize that they all belong together. This guy is a chumpstain.