I think we’re all familiar with that phrase right gentlemen (and ladies)? Cara has got herself one fine crew if I do say so. Wouldn’t mind following them around for a few weeks. You see, it’s not that I’m so opposed to gayness that is shows like “The Hills.” It’s that they don’t show the more important stuff, like them going down on guys and each other behind the scenes. All these MTV, sorority, geek, hot girls with giant boobs who do nothing but show giant boobs shows really need to shock us a bit more. I think the flashing with censors is getting a bit old and frankly I need some dick on face or vagina consuming cock segments. Well, Cara’s Myspace Profile is testament that maybe, just maybe these nights happen in real life.

Not a bad way to start things off.

Body is a given. Low cut bikini is a given as well. But you know what’s interesting here? She’s got kind of a “used” look on her face. Almost a “covering up for a night of booze and coke” type of look. Obviously I truly enjoy this look and encourage more women to do the same. I mean you don’t have to do that stuff, just please emulate it and give off that appearance so I respect you more. Thanks.

My first collage picture. Aren’t I amazing? Just click on it for larger sizes. Top left picture is incredible. Look at these girls. What a squad.

Look at em all lined up like that. I’ll take the one on the left first, followed by blond, second to left, 2nd from right, 3rd from right and far right. If I were hammered I might want the worst looking one first….actually I’m sure of it. Better story for the next day. I mean how often can you CHOOSE the worst one? I want to be that guy.

None of my posts would be complete without a blatant breast shot. Thanks to whatever friend you are. Cara rocks. I’d really just like to hang with these ladies for about a week. Yes I said that already and I meant it the first time.

In fact I’m convinced she isn’t anywhere close to being 28. And if by some chance I’m forced to take her off of this site because she’s actually underage? Fine by me but it’ll be fun while the fun lasts. God I love this look. In her myspace profile you can tell she’s a little on the waifish side (a boob job would probably do the trick) but she’s got that kind of “I want to go down on her type of look.” In case you guys didn’t know there are 3 types of girls in this world. 1. Those you’d never go down on,. 2. Those you’d consider and probably would go down on and 3. Those you WANT to go down on. As a male this is really your foundation for relationships and should be your guide for the rest of your lives. In any event, our lady of today most certainly falls in the “want to” category.

Another one of our homemade, “I really had nothing better to do today so I spent 15 hours shopping for whorish clothes so I could post on my myspace page today” pictures. Thanks Leroxx! Sounds too much like Chlorox. Find a better name unless Leroxx symbolizes how clean your vagina is.

Jesus I want to bury my face in there. I could jerk off to the thought of her opening them up just a tad.

“Dad, can you come in here and help me?” Don’t any of these girls have anything better to do? I mean at least I spend countless hours finding you people and making lude comments all day. But come on.

28? Dude my left ball is 28. She might be 15 in which case I’m getting the chair but not before that chair has plenty of stains on it.

Man oh man. Fucking son of a bitches wife. My penis just smiled at me and said “son? you’ll never be a man.” I don’t know what the means exactly, but it seems about right.

This girl is unbelievable. First of all, her profile is an absolute must see. Secondly, think Queen Esther from a few days back. Now, Juliya isn’t exactly the busty maxim magazinish type that Esther is, but she can certainly hold her own simply from the wild and crazy factor. I can’t even begin to fathom the lengths that this girl has gone to in order to entertain herself for an evening. If you look at her picture album you might get some sense of it, though I don’t think we’ll ever tap into her world enough to understand the kind of tight grip her vagina would have on you in the sensual heat of coitus.

Yup, nose ring. Yup, the ability to raise one eyebrow. Yup, the kind of look that can put my wang in a serious tizzy. I almost like the fact that you can’t see her vagina here. I like to picture it. Probably some kind of fiery red dye and a hawk wing shaped design down there. I could never keep up with her, but I’d love to try.

What do you think that necklace she’s wearing is? Is it some sort of press pass? “Alright guys, I represent Goth/Anal/Punk Rock/Porn magazine. Let me in. Wait, pose? With the car? Sure, as long as you promise to pierce my left knee.”

And she made it to mainstream. Imagine the party after this shoot? Some guy/girl will never be the same again.

Now, I don’t advocate bestiality by any means but how can you NOT think of her getting into a threeway right there?

I’m not sure what gave me the strength to post this picture but it came from somewhere deep and filled with seminal fluid.

Please for the love of God give me the address to that bar.