Janis is trying to make it out there. And I support her fully. She’s had her spats on FHM. As stated in the title she was once Madpoison’s model of the month. She competed in the Miss Cobra Seats 2007 contest. Come on honey! You can do it! As such I think this article will revolve around steps I think she can take to propel her career. Let’s begin with her Myspace Profile. In all honesty it isn’t that bad. Good amount of modeling pictures and closing in on 10,000 friends. One thing is missing though: tongue. I need to see more tongue sticking out stuff. I only see it in her private pictures. Tonguing with other girls, herself, anything with more saliva.

Tip number 2. Great picture here but it’s clearly evident that she needs to be topless. I don’t really think there’s much getting around it. Janis isn’t really famous right now. She’s no Jessica Burciaga and doesn’t have the star power of a Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian type. I don’t know of any acting skill but the evidence of a slamming nude body potentially being slammed by another nude body could really move her in the right direction. Do some Howard Stern whoring out or something. Just suck it up.

You see that? That’s what I’m talking about. Put up pictures like that EVERYWHERE and spread the word. I’m not saying to let eight guys have sex with you but lets face it. If you’re gonna learn to swim, get in the water. Bottom line? If you’re aspiring to make it in this business you gotta do what you can. My brutally honest opinion is that the face isn’t supermodel esque but the left and right bombs ARE. Use them. Use them wisely young Janis. I really wish Jesse Preston would have let me keep her post up. That girl is going places.

Another solid picture. The more skin the better. Now just be a go go dancer at a high priced vegas club, give the patrons a little something extra, and you’re on your way. I know that you have a boyfriend Janis, but he’ll understand. It’s for both of you.

Probably the best picture of the bunch. I was WAY too nice today. I’ll get back to my old assholish self on Monday. Let’s go Janis!

From all of us to all of you on this here day of thanks, and to the beginning of the end for the Indians….Happy Thanksgiving. We’ll be back tomorrow.

I got a message from Kim Kardashian the other day asking me to put her up here. That’s why I like her…. sticking with the little people (if you believed any of that you’re a moron). Let’s face it folks. If you read my disclaimer I can post anyone I’d like as long as I’ve stumbled across them on Myspace. While Kim Kardashian has about a thousand profiles on there, this is her official Myspace page. And if you’ve also read my “about” page you’ll find that I choose girls that I find interesting and that do it for me, famous or not. Well, Kardashian falls under that category and since everyone on the planet has given her a review I felt that an opinion that matters, mine, should be published on the famous partier. You see, I feel that Kim Kardashian falls under this sort of “still involved in normal things” kind of category. While I easily could have posted the likes of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or countless others who have tons of Myspace pull, I feel like Kardashian is the one out of them all who probably still actually checks her Myspace page, Facebook page, Jdate page, or any other Social Networking/Dating page on a daily basis. Do I have proof of this? Eh, I’m sure she met Ray Ray on Adultfriendfinder.

And let’s get another thing straight. I couldn’t care less about all the stuff that people say about these starlets who are stars just for partying. I’ve just given up. I understand it but you know what? As pathetic as I understand it is that we as a society thrive on this garbage, there’s still no discounting the fact that Kim Kardashian has a slamming body, a cute little voice, and a bitchy attitude that would draw me in faster than I could say “Ray Ray’s Wang.” Let’s review. Her vagina looked amazing in the video. If her tits are in fact real then we’re talking someone that I might not get tired of for at least a year, and that’s saying something. Did I mention her tits? Yeah, Kim Kardashian’s tits. Not to mention a great face. It’s different and I like that. Plus I’m a brown hair brown eyes type of guy. Bottom line is if society wasn’t interested, they’d find a way to exile these girls. Fact is, this celebrity crap is becoming more and more important here in America. And it’s becoming more and more featured. Is it retarded? Yes, but I’m afraid it’s here to stay. Just look at the last 5 years of reality shows, gossip sites, now TMZ is on Fox. We’re fucked. And as much as it scares me, if we see more and more Kim Kardashian type sex tapes then I’ll take the bad with the good. I’ll just tune everything else out.

You like those white balls down there? You know we don’t show nudity here so let’s put some lighted balls to cover up her vergheen. You’re telling me that Bruce Jenner never tried to tap that ass? Bullshit. You know every single time the camera is off on that crummy reality show that Jenner is after Kardashian 24/7. What the hell has that guy done with his face? He looks like a 75 year old Upper East Side Mink Wearer.

I’m pretty typed out right now. I gotta think in all of this that these party girls do, in effect work kind of hard. I just can’t see someone being famous without putting in some kind of effort, even if that effort means shoving a 12 inch schlong in your throat. Or even if it means pole dancing in front of the Paparazzi. Bottom line, the Kim Kardashians and Paris Hiltons of the world do work hard to keep up this persona. I applaud the penis sucking and breast showing. I just don’t applaud society’s reliance on it.

Bye.

And on that note. This was a long article. Thanks for taking the time Kim. I for one, love you.

Those of you that have been with me since the beginning may remember this woman. She was lost in the archive incident about a month back and she’s the final piece that I’ve decided to add to that puzzle. All of the other casualties will have to remain casualties. (I may bring back Pirate Hooker Baby though). However, I’ll never forget first bumping into Alina’s Myspace Profile and being completely perplexed that I hadn’t heard of her. Even after doing a Google Search on her I can still see that there aren’t too many pictures of her, and she just doesn’t seem to be in the spotlight. For what reasons? I have no clue. Maybe she just doesn’t work well with photographers. One thing is for certain. I could easily live with one ball for the rest of my life if I could go down on this woman, just once.

One crummy Maxim layout? That’s friggin it? You guys couldn’t do something else? Alina Vacariu on FHM? Swank? How about High Society? Do they even make that magazine anymore? To tell you the truth though, she’s just too good to be in dirty magazines. I feel like seeing a pose of her about to put her hand down her underwear would do much more for me than her spreading eagle and the camera taking a close up. Been there, done that. This picture definitely exemplifies the teasiness I am referring to. I really need to get a life. Exemplifies? Jesus. Alina Vacariu just makes me silly I say. I really like saying her last name.

Not even including her body, which I really can’t speak enough of…..Alina Vacariu’s face in this picture might look as good if not better than any face on the planet. It’s really incredible. I never thought I’d see something like a face BETTER than Catherine Zeta Jones in the movie “Entrapment.” And just for good measure her nipple is sticking out. (insert joke: I know what else is sticking out, hahahaha, shut up faggot).

You won’t find this picture that often so I’m the man for finding it. You also won’t see red dresses look that good too often either. Could I jerk off JUST looking at her hand on her leg? You betcha.

Baby Alina Vacariu? What do those panties say? “I came all the way to this photoshoot and all I got was this Alina Vacariu will you marry me T-shirt.” That was an awful awful line. Sorry guys. Vagina!

When I originally saw the name “DJ Astrea” I was kind of excited because yet again I thought I’d come across a very sexy woman who knew how to control the nightclubs. However when I came across her Myspace Profile I realized that little Ms. Darlene Garcia is not a DJ, she’s a DG. I assumed that meant Dick Grabber but she merely represents a long line of “entertainers” represented by DGI Entertainment. No matter. I still think that Darlene could pretty much control any nightclub as you will clearly see from her photos. I mean she’s already got my balls in a vice.

Starlight Starbright! First crack I see tonight! Look at that little black hole

by the tush. Nice little plumber action going on there. She really has a pornstar look if I ever saw one. In fact I think that the name DJ Astrea is a delightful name for someone who takes 5 at a time. In all honesty though, I really do go nuts for these little Latinas. Especially ones who pose half nude and have tats on their backs. Check back soon at darlenegarcia.com!

Hahahaha. I’m literally laughing at both how hot she looks there and how frustrated I am. Whoa, wait a second there though. She’s got some wrinklage on those feet. Couldn’t that have been airbrushed out like her nipples are? Bad photographer, bad. Seriously though, I’d eat every one of those wrinkles for the slim chance she’d let me untie that pink ribbon.

I’ve just set up a noose and am getting ready to hang myself.

Think the movie “Pretty Woman” but way way hotter than Julia Roberts.