I think she and Jennifer Sterger should get together and play ping pong. I’d probably pay to see that. But you can clearly see some similarities here. Jenny here, or should I say Jenny Stano so that I’m reminded of Jessie Spano (though that reminds me of a disgusting stripper named “Nomi” in Elizabeth Berkley’s pseudo underground classic, and I might add that “Showgirls” is the highest grossing NC-17 film ever). In any event Jennifer Stano has been a part of many wonderful modeling campaigns including Axe and Met-rx. Her next feature will apparently be a nude layout posted on a website owned by me. And she’s doing it for free! Which part of the last 200 words do you think are not true? Lots of goodies on her Myspace Profile.

It’s just not the same when you see a male football player in a get up like this. I’d say I can get kind of close to an erection if Reggie Bush wore this get up, but he’d probably have to flex his pecs a lot or something. For now, I’ll settle on the Jennifer Stano brand football jersey. However the doctor got those implants to fit on a frame like that is beyond me, but he deserves some sort of Nobel Prize for it. Women’s bodies really don’t get much better than this.

As much as I’d like to see her smile I get this feeling that something really bad happens. There’s probably a reason she has the “YOU know how hot I am and I know how hot I am, so let’s not ruin a good thing” look on her all the time. Gotta stick with what works. And it’s working right now.

Any time I see I picture where the legs are positioned like this I’m reminded of Stealth Icon. I’m pretty sure no picture can ever match the masturbatory potential of that leg positioning, but Jennifer Stano comes pretty damned close right here.

Ok so I was kind of wrong about the smiling thing but she still looks better with the serious face. Met-Rx did well by hiring her. Now that I think of it, I’d rather see Jennifer Stano and Jenn Sterger wrestle, not play ping pong.

You know? Just when I think I’m going to write a reasonably nice article on someone praising them on their body (hers reminds me of Queen Esther’s), this is what I have to find:

**Stupid bitches need to stop stealing my pictures to make fake myspaces!!!!! http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=182294939 *Melissa* *Shopping* *Shoes* *Sunglasses* *Big Boobs* *Iced Coffees* *White teeth* *My jeep* *Tanning* *Beach* *Making more money than you* *Nails* *Parting* *People who hate me that I don’t even know* *Big hair* *Pink&Glitter* *Sweatpants* *My BFF<3* *Dan-I love you<3* *I HATE*…. *Fake people, omg they are everywhere* *Annoying myspace guys who don’t get the fucking hint* *cheap people* *People who don’t have jobs* *Drama* *Not having my nails done* *Jealousy, get over it bitches* *Sweaty, sloppy drunks* *STALKERS* *hoLd yOuR hEaD uP HiGh gOrGeOuS bEcAuSe tHerE aRe pEoPLe wHo WoULd kiLL tO sEe YoU fALL<3

Do I even need to write anything else? Granted this girl is ridiculously hot though.

In her “Who I’d Like to Meet” section she lists Jessica Simpson, John Cena and the WWE Diva Girls!!!! Of all the people in the world you can meet, 2/3 of your list is from something that Vince McMahon created? Well, I’m kind of ignoring that fact because as I write this I can only see her boots right now, and that’s a jerk off worthy boot shot if I ever saw one. What a body.

Can’t say I approve of those upper lip piercing things but I’ll overlook it. I can’t make out what that tattoo is but I like it. Have I ever posted a girl who was under 25, from Boston, that wasn’t unbelievable? What the hell is with Boston? I know I wouldn’t be able to take the accents for more than five minutes but considering I’m only a few hours away, I have to make it up there.

Wow. I mean wow. She really understands the value of boots and when having such a fantastic body how to USE those boots to her advantage. She could cover those boots in shit smelling foul that I can’t even imagine and I’d eat it off her boots for the chance to eat her as well.

Given that her Myspace Profile is private, I thought I’d share some of the wealth of her photo album. I’m falling in love with this woman despite her trying to be cool while looking like an idiot for posting her affinity for the WWE. I hope you guys get into the profile. It’s truly a site to see.

You didn’t think I’d actually leave this woman off of my site for that long did you? I posted her a very long time ago and Ms. Carmella Bing was far and away the most popular post in this site’s existence. I’m still fully convinced I discovered her. It was nearly two years ago and I was simply messing around online and there she was. I saw some picture of her and had to find out her name. After some hooing and hawing I managed to find the name “Carmella” and then through examination of some DVD Covers I saw the name “Carmella Bing.” I then of course typed that name into the search engines and the rest is history. And it’s not even her myspace profile that does anything for me as you’ll see from this material, it’s her willingness to be insane.

So what’s going on in class today Ms. Bing? The best thing about the Binger is not that she’s some huge breasted good looking girl. We get that all the time. Carmella Bing is the epitome of all those things you desire in an actress. The willingness to go the distance. The ability to not take one, or two, or even three, but as many facials as is necessary to satisfy even the dirtiest of viewers. And it’s not one hole, or two, but every single orifice necessary to capture the moment in any production. She’s a trooper.

Umm. That picture is really illegal. I’m not even joking. I’m literally shaking my head as I write this. Disturbing.

Power. That’s what Carmella Bing is. Power.

If and when we have the technology to create Stepford Wives I’m simply going to say to the manufacturer, “Give me the Carmella Bing.”

Look, it says that this here Twisted Barbie is 28 years old. Now, if it said 38 years old on her profile then this post would rank way up there because I’d have found some unbelievably hot MILFY type. Instead I’ve found some 28 year old club junkie who looks 38. That said, I still love chicks in the club genre and Twisted Barbie here is no exception. She has a ridiculous body and gets “cool” points. Her face might not be the best but not one of you reading this wouldn’t go to work if she offered work to you. If you want to learn about techno and girls that love girls that love techno you can check out Twisted’s Myspace Profile.

She’s actually better looking than I thought. So is this guy. What a hunk!

This is a typical Sunday afternoon for her. This picture was taken in her apartment right after her parents left brunch. What we don’t see are the guys waiting on the side dressed at Gumby, Scooby Doo, Captain America and the Ambiguously Gay Duo. Her body is phenomenal.

Again if she were 38? What a stomach. Could you imagine trying to keep up with these three? One week with them would feel like a year. Perhaps that’s why all of them looked like they were 25 when they were 12 and look almost 40 now in their mid twenties.

One reason for this picture. Fat chick in the background. I just like it.

At the request of Laura, I have removed her post.  Her email is as follows:

You wrote about me, Laur would be me do you mind taking everything off that you wrote considering you don’t know me nor do you know anyone in those pictures and you have no right saying the things you do. Sorry that the quote makes you want to vomit. The fact that you have this much time to write disrespectful shit about other people makes me want to vomit. please remove all of my pictures and your comments.

My response:

Laur,

I apologize to have offended you in any way but you are extremely attractive and us guys are simply animals.  What can I say?  I have kept this teeny tiny picture up of you but you’ll notice that your profile address and everything else has been removed.  I am under zero obligation by law to take any further action.  Technically I could have kept everything up but given how nice your request was I felt like obliging.  Best of luck honey.

Sincerely,

Brock Landers

P.S.  All the guys I usually write about in these pictures are the exact same guys reading this site.