Lucia Tovar was lost in the archive incident a few weeks back and it’s pretty easy to understand why she was immediately put back up. I remember first coming across her myspace profile and it was one of the better days of my life. And it wasn’t because I’ve seen yet another hot Latina whose skin and smile could easily sway me into murder. It was because she’s nice us enough to have her own website with nude pictures. But is that really nice enough? Is it? Obviously it’s not. It’s pure torture and yet another reminder that one day I’ll have 3 kids and like the jackass I am will have turned down a woman like this at least once in my life for the sanctity of my children and my marriage. The world is a sick sick place.

If I had no money in the world and someone just handed me $50,000 I would spend 25K for one hour with my head right where her ass is in that picture. Then I think I would make some sort of T-Shirt that says “I spent $25,000 to be near Lucia Tovar’s ass and all I got was one hour near Lucia Tovar’s ass and this shirt.”

One of, if not my favorite pictures of her. Latina skirt wearing. They should give lessons on that stuff and Tovar should be the instructor. Prize at the end of the year would be the $25,000 Lucia Tovar Fanclub Shirt.

There’s really not much to discuss in this one. I’m typed out.

Are those her underpants? Jesus Christ I think they are. That is illegal. I would pay about 3 nickels for Lucia Tovar’s drawers, have my girlfriend wear them, then read this post over and over. While that made no sense, I think it made plenty of sense.

As I stumbled across this wonderfully orchestrated myspace profile I knew that I was onto something special. I figured with a name like Sunny Leone there must have been a catch. And surely there was. She graced the cover of Penthouse Magazine in 2001 but the hope, the hope I say, is that she came to her senses and joined the real “industry.” Well of course she did back in 2004 and I’m proud to announce that as recently as 5 months ago she signed a deal with Vivid Pictures. Well done Sunny. Let’s score another point for the “hot chicks lured into the abuse, drugs, sex and humiliation” industry. Estimated time before she gets implants and participates in some stuff even I couldn’t watch? 1 year and then a potential suicide attempt to follow. Why do girls this hot do this stuff?

Of course I provided a link to more of her revealing work! Ah to see her with a minimum of three strappingly large African American Ganglanders would make for an excellent 30 seconds or masturbation time.

What are you a belly dancer? Just shove it in my face honey. In the immortal words of Mr. Bateman, “don’t just stare at it, eat it!”

Man I’d like to have sex with those sunglasses.

Perhaps Sunny should have been in “Derailed” instead of Jennifer Anniston. This guy would have been much happier. P.S. for all those that don’t understand. Jennifer Anniston has a great body but is NOT good looking. Every single girl I’ve had on this site is way more doable than Anniston. Even the heffers. Thank you. One more thing, Sarah Jessica Parker…absolutely not, not ever, no way.