Well, it looks like my files just keep coming out of the wood work. I can’t believe I overlooked the most commented post in the history of this website. It caused a hell of a stir. Why? Well, some months back this original hooker Stephanie contacted me for inclusion into the site. I warned her about my comments. She of course didn’t care and loved that I made the post. The controversy was over this picture she took in a bathroom with 3 underage black dudes. It was awesome. She’s since taken it off her Myspace Profile. By the way, that profile is an absolute masterpiece. Why? It’s just classic. It’s full of crappy font work and pictures of drunkenness and lewd behavior. She is the perfect example of a girl you would just tear limb from limb, treat her like crap because you were the club owner, have her come back for more until you were ready to move on, and make her do some sick stuff in the bedroom.

A rusty shopping cart? Could this girl be any better? I swear to God if there’s one thing I do before I die it’s to have sex with this girl in that exact shopping cart. But not just sex, anal sex. And not just anal sex. There will have to be at least 10oz of baby oil involved. You know what the scary thing is though? I’d put 100 bucks to anyone’s 1 dollar that Stephanie has done this already.

I’m not even sure why this girl bothers to model. Her modeling pictures should just be the drunken pictures she takes in clubs and on cars. I personally think she looks way better in the candid “natural” shots. If you want to be the Pirate Hooker Baby then just keep doing it. Don’t take model shots. That’s gay. She needs a website and I’d be more than happy to help her set it up for a nominal fee of 7.5 blowjobs.

While it’s not physically possible, if I could somehow just have sex with the part of her face where the glasses are showing I would be a happy man. I’ve used the terms “jerk off worthy legs” or stomach. Any chance I find I new one I’ll use it. Jerk Off worthy glasses.

Here’s to the Pirate Hooker Baby. A perfect candidate for sex in an abandoned building followed by a facial. God I love this woman.

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It’s a truly cold day here in New York. Seeing these girls reminded me that even in warm weather I probably couldn’t have sex with these girls because I’d finish the job before my clothes even came off. Oh well.

Links of the Day:

Her name is Nadine Velasquez from Savvy Girls

Hundred Dolla Billz Y’all from Losers with Socks

Merkur Futur Razor from Asylum

Karolina Kurkova’s Ass from Dirty Rotten Whore

Alyssa Milano Gets Dolled Up for UNICEF from Paul’s World

Today’s Spankings from Busted Coverage

Powderpuff Football Pow Wow from Macgsworld

Gemma Atkinson Cleavage from UKCeleb

Learn to Pimp with the Berenstein Bears from Tastybooze

Hot but more importantly crazy from Brahsome

Olivia Wild and her Cleavage from Celebdump

Lance Briggs Will impregnate you then leave from Epiccarnival

Jessica Alba gives the finger from Taxiedrivermovie

Pics of the Day:

This just in. Nicole Kidman is auditioning for the role of “Tinman” in Michael Jackson’s “The Wiz II, Through the Portal of Time.” Scarecrow will be played by Tom Cruise, Lion will be Willem Dafoe and Dorothy will be played by Hanna Montana (I don’t know her real name). Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that. P.S. Nicole Kidman is VERY scary looking these days. Thanks to The Superficial for this lovely display.

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Rihanna on this site. I probably should have. I’m a big fan. These pictures kind of support that notion. What is she 19? Awesome. Thanks to a Drunkenstepfather article for these pictures.

Ok it’s officially time for me to vomit. Thanks to Dlisted’s article that reminds me that there are in fact women I’d physically consider punching in the face.

Very curious to see what happens to the other members of the Pussycat Dolls when Ms. Nicole Scherzinger walks out to find greener pastures. Does anyone know any other members of this group other than her? I didn’t think so. Thanks to The Grumpiest for this display.

You’d think with a name like Michelle Anderson we’d have a clear cut case of some kind of Playboy Centerfold of the month with Blond Hair and Blue Eyes. Nope, guess again. That’s why when I came across Michelle’s Myspace Profile I had to get her up here. That and the fact that I barely ever post Asian women. I have zero against Asian women. They’re just not as common in the large breasted, car model genre as some of your more typical Vegas type ladies. Michelle is quite a kitten though. There’s something about her face that screams, “wait a sec boys, I’m not THAT Asian but I’ll certainly give you long time way better than what you’re accustomed to.” Works for me Michelle.

Here’s a little blurb from Michelle. “To hate and despise others is a sign of weakness and selfishness. To hate someone takes all your good energy & prevents you from realizing your dreams” – Well Michelle, I understand where you’re coming from here. Hating can people can be somewhat an energy waster but you know what? I love to hate. Can you blame me for hating the fact that you’re wearing clothes? The fact that I’m sitting here writing this and you’re face isn’t down on my wee wee relieving my stress? That I don’t get to see you in a movie entitled “My name is Michelle, but don’t let that fool you, I’m Asian and take it up the butt?” I mean hate does have its place in the world.

I’m gonna say it. I think purple is a great color for Michelle. Yup, I’m gay. No, I’m just making an astute observation. Seriously though, doesn’t that slightly lighter than purple color make her look better? It just works. Sue me.

Hey I finally get to say it again! “Damn I want to fuck that car.” It’s been a while. I was going through withdrawal. Here’s something interesting. Michelle Anderson has nearly 240,000 friends on Myspace. I’m so honored that I’m one of them. The amount of people she’s actually friends with on Myspace? Somewhere between 1 and 5. The chances she’s the person that actually does all the friend adding? Zero.

Hey Ground Dynamics, how about some love here? I just posted two of your pictures in a row. That’s free advertising damnet.

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This isn’t a joke. I just got a blowjob about five minutes ago. If my girl friend had this tongue the explosion might have hit the ceiling. I’m just saying….That said I got some in her hair and kind of liked it.

Links of the Day:

Cora Skinner is the Brunette amongst Blondes from Savvy Girls

Today’s Spankings from Busted Coverage

Giant Cameltoe from Asylum

Hottie Video of the Day from I Do Nothing all Day

ESPN Hates Arkansas from Losers with Socks

Need a Hot Chicks Video? from Macgsworld

Holly Madison’s Daddy Issues from Dirty Rotten Whore

Greatest Mugshot T-Shirt Ever from Tastybooze

In Da Muthaf*kin Butt from Brahsome

Marketa Brymova Is a Superior Twizzy from Slamdizzle

Kate Del Castillo in a Bikini from Paul’s World

Cheerleader Friday from Epiccarnival

Good Goals for 2008 from Pointless Banter

Best looking girls in Person from The Put Down

Random British Chick in Morning Best from UK Celeb

Flabber’s Daily Babes from Flabber

Pics of the Day:

It really looks like Karolina Kurkova is toughing it out on the beach. Must be really stressful posing in the sun and getting paid millions of dollars for it. That said there’s only a handful of women that get these jobs just like there’s only a handful of black guys that are over 6 foot 9, coordinated, have a criminal record and can make a jumpshot (well some can make a jumpshot) getting their million plus dollar jobs. Thanks to The Superficial on Karolina Kurkova doing some posing.

And here is a picture in front of Madame Toussaud’s famous wax museum. Looks pretty lifelike right? Nope, it’s the real Jenna Jameson. I have nothing else left to say about that. Thanks to I Don’t like You in that way’s Jenna Linkeson.

I don’t care. I just don’t care how far off Paula Abdul gets from whatever Cherry Tree she started off on. I’d still hit it. I just keep that image of her in the “Rush Rush” video and hear her sing “Oooohhhh what you do to me.” Although this shit is getting harder and harder to hold onto. Thanks to A Socialite’s Life for “Paula’s Pee Pilfered.”

Ever hear of Akina Aoshima? Neither have I but any time an Asian has natural cans this big I have to act. Thanks to Horny Oyster for this one.

Well, she’s clearly not in Cleveland in this here picture. Looks like she might be out to meet a “John.” Actually no, you know what this is? She’s about to enter some party that you or I would never even have a remote chance of getting into. 99% of the girls inside that red door are hot and it’s clearly one of those forbidden city type places. Some of you who have been with me a while may remember Natalie’s Myspace Profile. It got burned in the wreckage of the archive incident of November 2007. I’m happy to say it’s back up and flourishing.

“Hey everyone! whats good? My name is Natalie Marie oringinally from the midwest and east coast.(Bi coastal bitches!) Everyone asks what my orgin is… I am full blooded Italian…thats it! I am very close with my parents and i have a lil brother rocco who is a allstar athlete just like his big sis! Thanks to them i am a spoiled brat and i like it that way! I am a down ass chick and have no time for fake people and bullshit. Feel me? Everyone that knows me knows i would give the shirt off my back for my friends…but do me wrong and its on!!” And I think that’s all I have to say about that.

I think her face is the only thing that I’d improve. She has a virtually perfect body. You know what’s amazing though? Most women could not handle implants like that. I have much experience with this. You’d think every woman could just balloon up and get amazing breasts like Natalie’s. It doesn’t work that way. It’s all about elasticity, density, pocketing. So to see a frame on Natalie with that kind of a rack is truly a blessing. She’s got the genes, not to mention the 10 grand. And that 10 grand truly is an investment. I guarantee Natalie doesn’t have to do much “real” work for at least the next 20 years. She just has to sit in night clubs and get paid for it. Incredible.

See what I mean with those two bags of fun? Truly amazing. That’s why you gotta really love the Wendy Whoppers of the world. They figured “since I’m in the 2% of the population that actually CAN get size X boobs, I might as well do it, become a pornstar and really not try to make it using my brain.” You just can’t argue with that logic.

I don’t know what she’s looking at. I don’t care what she’s looking at. I just know what I’m looking at. It’s the amount of rust on those pipes. Natalie better be careful.

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