It’s amazing how obvious the difference is between a girl who has big tits, looks nice, perhaps might be a girl you could settle down with, and a girl who has big tits, is holding a mixed drink that’s almost done on one hand, and an entire bottle of Vodka on the other.

Links of the Day:

April Verie is “Very” from Savvy Girls

Hottest Hollywood Cougars from Asylum

South Florida Lineman Has Arm Full of Blondes from Bustedcoverage

Charles Thomas loves fried Chicken from Losers with Socks

Britney Spears’ Ass Upskirt from Dirty Rotten Whore

Coward! from Macgsworld

Excellent Gift for Beer Pongers from Tastybooze

Gemma Atkinson Cleavage from Paul’s World

Marissa Miller Half Naked from Don’t Cost Nothing

Breaking News on the Mitchell Report from Brahsome

I Poop Gold…What? from Toph Speaks

Hanna Hilton Continues to have Large Tits from Slamdizzle

Pics of the Day:

Mischa Barton posed for the new Maxim recently. Anyone care? Anyone? Does anyone actually think she’s hot? Does anyone find that somewhat revealing picture even remotely attractive? I’m sorry but I don’t think she’s any more than an average college girl worth a drunk hook up. I hope she doesn’t become famous again. Here is Maxim’s Online Article about it.

Hey Paz! Congratulations on 10 years ago. I’m not quite sure I remember when “Spanglish” came out but I can tell you that I loved Paz Vega back then and I love her now. I always felt she was a ramped up version of Penelope Cruz only she doesn’t look like a bird and she has much better teets. I’m glad Drunkenstepfather wrote “Paz Vega Swarovski Crystals” to remind me of her greatness.

Allow me to summarize some of the stuff from Dlisted today in my own words. Madonna is doing nothing out of the ordinary. Marilyn Manson has his foreskin kept in a jar by one of his relatives. Again, not surprising. Katherine Heigl was only hot when she was in the movie “My Father the Hero” and I think she was 14 then. Paris Hilton is Paris Hilton.

When I first stumbled across Mary’s Myspace Profile I felt that there was something special going on. I think that despite my original opinion that she might just actually be a normal hot chick who parties it up in Vegas, there was a deep down feeling of hope that I’d be able to find her nude somewhere. And that reason wasn’t because I just like to see nude girls, which I do, we all do, but it was because I wanted to make sure that Mary was climbing the charts. And this post is dedicated to making sure that Mary does keep climbing. I’m a tremendous fan and I would give anything to go down on her four a minimum of 24 hours.  Here is her Playboy Cyber Girl Spread and here is her Nude Photoshoot. Those should keep you occupied for quite some time.

Mary lives in Vegas, parties in Vegas, and in my opinion thrives in Vegas. I don’t really see any evidence of go-go dancing which I kind of like. She’s got more of a natural curvy body and I’d hate to see her try to compete with the Jessica Burciaga’s of the world. Mary is definitely more of the seductive long limbed, excellent natural boobelage type. There’s also something about her face that’s extremely addictive. You know that she could easily give off the Jersey Trash vibe if she wanted to but I feel like she reserves that only for the special men that deserve a show like that in private quarters.

Would I like to see some kind of make out session here? Of course. Do I mind staring at this picture? Of course not. Here’s a little snippet from her profile: “I’m a lover, not a fighter. I love meeting new people and seeing new things. I get bored real fast so I’m always on the move. I’m a leo in every way. My family is European so I’ve lived a lot of my life overseas. Puts hair on your chest (not literally dumbass). Vegas can be a hard city to live in but I fortunately have the best, most beautiful friends around. Love you guys. :* My passion is traveling. There’s always something to learn from places you’ve never been before. I love the beach and get very anxious when I’m away from it for too ng. Creepy dudes, don’t waste your time…I’m not going to write you back! …I’m just doin my thang :” Just keep doing your thing. I love your thing Mary.

Close up. Almost too close up but Mary’s got a face that can pull it off. I think she’d definitely be hot well into her fifties. Her boobs are natural and may sag quite a bit but she’d be a hell of a catch for a swingin’ 60 year old. Perhaps when my current girlfriend, future wife dies I can look Mary up. Jesus can’t 25 years go by already? I can’t wait to call!

Those legs are scarily hot.

More Pictures:

You gotta love Vegas. At least I think this picture pretty much had to have been taken there. That guy couldn’t possibly be any happier.

Links of the Day:

Lana Fink from Savvy Girls

Trouble in Gainesville? from Losers with Socks

Jerking off without Hands from Asylum

Today’s Spankings from Busted Coverage

An Open Letter to Jennifer Love Hewitt from Tastybooze

Cash Warren Wins This Round from Brahsome

This Old Whore House from Macgsworld

Coco’s Rack is Legend from Paul’s World

Lily Allen Nip Slip from Dirty Rotten Whore

Jessica (You Pick her Last name) from Slamdizzle

Eric Mangini Loves Mike Nugent from Epiccarnival

Pics of the Day:

I tell ya, Megan Fox keeps surprising me. She’s got the tattoos. She’s got the lips. I don’t know man, I think she just might do a Playboy spread pretty soon. At the least she definitely seems like the type to get down. Thanks to Drunkenstepfather for posting “Megan Fox Nipple Slip of the Day.”

In case you don’t know who Sofia Vergara is you might want to check out my post on her. If you do know who she is you can understand why I’d post any new pictures of her. What a body. She almost looks better in clothing here. Pics courtesy of The Superficial’s “Sofia Vergara Will Jangle Your Spurs.”

In case you guys don’t know, Jessica Alba is Pregnant and I’m sure every guy in America agrees with me when I say: She could be pregnant with triplets and walk through a mile of shit smelling foul I can’t even imagine. I’d still go down on her and love every minute of it.

So I’ve been getting a lot of shit from you people (well 2 of you) for straying from posting the amateur drunk girls. To the two of you that have said that let me say a few things: First of all, get off my back. Second, you are right. Third, it’s not easy for me to find these girls so give me time. Trust me I post them as often as possible and I’m doing the very best that I can. I’ll actually add a fourth to that. If you’d check out my Hottest Girls on Facebook site you will find plenty of real drunk college girls. No models, no faking. So let’s get on with Felicia. I mention Alpha Dog because it’s not even close how much she’s the leader of her little “Fall River, Mass” pack. Wait a minute. Am I putting some cities in Massachusetts in the same league as the Bronx, Brooklyn, and Staten Island? I think I am. I’m not sure where this little subculture of “horribly and tightly clothed, lips pressed pictures and hanging out with Vito’s” began but it really seems to be spreading. I’m not happy about it.

Given the unclassiness of the clothes and the complete disregard for sobriety, Felicia’s got one fun Myspace Profile. I just like her party attitude and I specifically enjoy her legs coming out of those tight white jean shorts. I’m also 99% sure that there isn’t one picture where she hasn’t had at least 10 drinks. P.S. Who is the lucky guy that gets to go home with her friend? As gross as it sounds, I’m pretty sure if I drank as much as Felicia I’d go home with said Green Shirted Phenomenon.

As much as I think Felicia is hot, this picture really pisses me off. Behind the fucking wheel? I understand getting hammered. Hell I can even understand wearing ridiculous clothing, piercing your belly button, having an accent that puts you in the” seeming like your in the under 75 IQ team.” But what I truly find disheartening and unacceptable is drunk driving. And taking a fucking picture behind the wheel with a bottle in hand? I would love to give this girl a facial while she was passed out, shave her head and write with a big giant permanent marker “way to drive drunk you fucking bitch, you just killed my dog…..and I gave you a facial.” All jokes aside though, I’m very annoyed at this picture.

Any photos of her NOT holding a drink? Any photos of her NOT wearing a skirt that the slightest wind would make it “vagina visible?” I hate knowing how hot this girl is and how little respect I have for her. There’s gotta be some redeeming quality. Nope, dumb bitch drives drunk and I’m upset right now.

I just hope that this dude is the one that gave her a facial. Nope. Guess again. He’s probably the one who drives drunk and makes little weird hand gestures with his middle finger signifying hi undying devotion to the mob wannabee crew of 2007. God these people annoy me.

More Pictures:

Do I even need to post links? I mean what the hell else do I have to do on this site? You see, for you guys it’s fun. You get to look at pictures and be on your way. Sure you think “I wonder if” and “Imagine this” but you see I have to FIND these pictures which means I’m immersed in this crap ALL day long. I’m becoming extremely suicidal.

Links of the Day:

Irina Voronina found stardom in the US from Savvy Girls

Paris Hilton in Miami with an Upskirt from Dirty Rotten Whore

5 Girls in a Bathtub with a Twist from Tastybooze

Body Odor as Key to Romance from Asylum

When we say former beauty queen we mean it from Busted Coverage

Michigan Say’s It Ain’t Over Yet Corndogs from Losers With Socks

Amy Winehouse Xmas Song from Macgsworld

Morning Wood: Let’s do This from Brahsome

Destiny White is Ridiculously Hot from Slamdizzle

Teen Kylie’s First time on film from Paul’s World

Mike Ditka is very mature from Epiccarnival

Ali Larter Swimsuit from UK Celeb

Pics of the Day:

Ah yes, little Hayden Panettiere in big boots. What is it about these kinds of boots that make all of us men go crazy? Is it that 4 inches of leg that shows? It’s like you realize that the leg leads to a vagina. Hayden’s mom looks like a complete exploiter. Awful. Pictures were in “Hayden Panettiere in Whore Boots” over at Drunkenstepfather.

Ever hear of Candice Swanepoel? You have now. Um. Hi. Pictures were in the article “Candice Swanepoel and her Long Legged Lusciousness” from Cameltap.