Let’s just take a nice break like these two, I’m sorry these four are taking. If I had one thousand dollars I’d spend four hundred to put my heads in between those breasts for two hours. I would easily ejaculate without any assistance whatsoever.

Links of the Day:

From Senior Business Analyst to Sex Kitten from Savvy Girls

Scott Baio Marries a Girl Who Isn’t Hot from Asylum

Jack Nicholson fucks 9000 Broads from Tastybooze

Sexy Futbol Fans from Hottie Hunter

Bridgette Tarmachio: Naught Little Birthday Girl from Paul’s World

Woman Concerned about Porn Addicted Boyfriend from Busted Coverage

Tim Tebow and the Men that Love Him from Losers With Socks

The New Helen of Troy: Amy of England from Macgsworld

The City Slam Campaign from Brahsome

Bryant Gumbel is Amazingly Horrible from Epiccarnival

Nicole Lenz is a piece of ass from Slamdizzle

Obligatory Lucy Pinder Photo from The Put Down

Pics of the Day:

I’ve seen Kim Kardashian’s reality show and while I just want to turn it off, hunt her down, lick her vagina, have sex with her, and then let some bucket of oil spill all over her like in “Carrie” so that she got a taste of humility, I still envy a lifestyle of doing absolutely nothing and getting paid for it.

Just for the record Ricky Martin is still alive and he’s still gay.

There’s been a lot of talk today about Pamela Anderson being “done.” I understand this. I understand that she’s not as hot as she used to be. But let’s get something clear. If the path keeps going like this then Pamela Anderson is one step closer to porn and for me to ever get to say “I just saw Pamela Anderson in a reverse cowgirl anal scene” no matter how bad she looked would be a dream come true.

A few things. I haven’t seen Lindsay Lohan look this good pretty much ever. I have to admit she looks gorgeous in these pictures. Secondly, this guy has to be related to Tom Green. Thirdly, if this is the sober Lohan and these are the guys she actually picks to have sex with? Then it’s really time Lindsay gets her ass off the wagon.

Two things that I read immediately on her Myspace Profile: “mom’s gonna kill me for this picture!!!!” and RAAAAAWWWWRRRRR hahahaha.” Not exactly sure how I respond to this one but I’ll take a shot. Just a hunch and just judging from the fact that 99.9% of the pictures she’s displayed (and that I will) are whorish, our lady here kind of wants attention. Another guess: her mom actually helped her out with this profile. You cannot possibly be raised in even a remotely normal circumstance and flaunt this stuff on the web. You just can’t. Can you?

Even so I really want to tear into this one. 22 years old and from Farmington Connecticut? Here’s my take. Child of neglect. Papa works his ass off downtown in New York and is never home. Mom goes out with daughter as if she is daughter’s age. P.S I hope this girl emails me saying something like “I can’t believe you would judge me like that and make those assumptions! Fuck you! Roar!” Well sweetheart, look at how you portray yourself. Ain’t my fault.

A. This guy is Black B. He’s wearing a green shirt symbolizing and saying “St Patrick’s Day.” C. He’s hammered. D. Probably getting head from both of these girls that night. E. Is my personal hero of the moment.

Holy shit I’m willing to bet my life that is her mother. What a family.

I don’t know why but I just had this daydream of her completely spreading her legs and masturbating which supports my “girls masturbating” theory. Take any scene, ANY scene in any movie and superimpose a girl masturbating in the background and it’s automatically funny.

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First of all. Jesus Christ you have to be kidding me. Second of all, you may remember my Kortnie O’Connor post from last week where there was a picture of her next to a Playboy Magazine billboard showing that month’s cover. I then said “Now who the hell is THAT chick on the cover? As soon as I find out, and pending a Myspace profile, she’s getting her ass right on this site pronto.” Well sure enough that very day our friend Jay sent me her Myspace Profile as well as a terrific gallery of her (for those interested in nudity). Let me just say that I couldn’t be happier and yet more frustrated to be posting Monica today. Ah yes, if you hadn’t had enough of her I’ve taken the liberty of doing a Monica Leigh Google Image Search. Good god.

I never thought I’d say this but I think Monica may have dethroned Jessica Burciaga. Perhaps someday Jessica will wise up and have a spread in Playboy, but I’m not talking about Playboy. Even with clothes on I think Monica may best my current pick for Hottest Girl of Myspace. Well, in the first picture of this post, she actually kind of looks like Burciaga only bustier. I think that Burciaga still has more of a kick ass type of lifestyle. She does the nightclub go-go dancing thing and looks like an all around party girl. Monica might be too busy being hot. It’s a very tough call and I’m going to lose a lot of sleep and semen over this. By the way, Monica is from Long Island? That can’t be true. And Shirley Long Island of all places? I’ve been to Shirley once and I felt like I was in rural Arkansas. If Monica walked in a pile of pig poop barefoot and told me to lick it off I would gladly do so for a shot at holding her hand on a crowded street with lots of dudes being jealous.

I wonder what it’d be like to have dinner with her. How does she eat? What would we talk about? Monica, you’ll have to forgive me because if we do in fact end up going to dinner in like the next few days or so, I may not be able to pay attention to you at all. It’s not that I wouldn’t be interested or at least pretend to be interested in all of the lovely conversation…it’s just that you are so unbelievably hot that it would be nearly impossible for me to stop thinking about how hot you are and how much of the man I am for being able to coax you into going to dinner with me.

There are only two types of photographers that can possibly withstand a photo shoot with Monica. Gay guys and straight women. Even so though, the gay guys might turn heterosexual and the straight women might turn lesbian. She’s that hot.

See the little indent there down on her crotch? Yup, that’s her vagina folks. That thing is worth more than Golden Idols in most foreign countries. I really need to get some air. That was one tough task writing this without actually diddling myself.

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I’m pretty sure I really wouldn’t have to even make a post today. In fact I’m positive that this picture is more than enough to warrant this post as being one worth holding onto. I guarantee that many of you will right click, paste, copy and email this picture to many of your friends. Have a wonderful evening.

Links of the Day:

A Beautiful Girl Visits the Harbor from Savvy Girls

Anne Hathaway and Bacon Fat Lube from Dirty Rotten Whore

Bummer For Pot Growers from Asylum

What’s up Billy Gillespie? from Loserswithsocks

Depression of a Bruins Fan from Macgsworld

Crazy Star Wars Tattoos from Tastybooze

Loving McLovin ID’s from Brahsome

Booze, Ladies, and Football from Busted Coverage

Best Use of Photoshop Award from Epic Carnival

Pink is wearing a man dress from Drunkenstepfather

Brooke Hogan Shops with Her Chin from Paul’s World

Put a Cap in that Cow! from The Big Lead

Mel Gibson’s Nipples Hurt from Cameltap

Who the hell is Jayne Wisener? from Popoholic

Pics of the Day:

This woman, yes I repeat THIS woman just got 6 Grammy Nominations. Seriously, imagine you are George Bush, the President of our Nation, or rather picture yourself as a good president of our nation and Amy Winehouse wins 6 awards. You have to watch her address millions of viewers 6 times. That’s about 12 minutes of truly poor U.S. representation. She looks like the wicked witch of the heroin.

I remember seeing Alessandra Ambrosio for the first time about five years ago and being so unbelievably hot. I wanted to know her name, interests, everything. I can honestly say that I have not grown tired of her at all. Some girls are fad girls. Ambrosio will never lose her appeal (unless she gets tons of cottage cheese). I think Eva Longoria is one of those people I eventually lost interest in.

This is Joanna Angel, the queen of “Alt Porn.” Alt Porn means chicks with tattoos. Joanna seems like a fine representative. There’s actually a clip of her having orgasm noises if you are interested.

If you think any part of this woman is human then you are surely mistaken.

I’m already thinking that this here post is going to be debatable. I already know that some of you will like that trucker type tattoo on her stomach and some of you will be repulsed by it. Let’s cut the debate short right here. According to her Myspace profile she’s 99 years old! Alright schmucks so she’s not a senior citizen but here’s the deal. If she’s over 35 then she’s a complete superstar selection for this site. If she’s under 30 then she’s had too many drugs, nailed too many guys, and stayed up for over 24 hours way too many times in her life. If I had to make an educated guess based on her face and neckline I’d say she’s about 38 which puts her into the “I doubt she’s a real mom yet but she’s a MILF, older woman, the kind of lady you wish you were a pizza guy delivering a pizza to and she asked you to come inside while her husband were gone” category. What the hell is Playet Magazine?

You gotta love the crowd that holds on to dear youth for an extra 10 years. A. It makes me extremely jealous. B. It’s just a very powerful thing when you see a woman this age, with this kind of body and those kind of tattoos basically telling the world to “fuck off, because I’m gonna have some fun and if you want to join me, fine, if not you suck.” I would feel like such a kid in her presence and I’d imagine I would be terribly nervous to do anything sexual with her. I can’t decide if she’d be like “you’re so nervous, what is wrong with you, can’t you please a woman?” or “you’re so nervous, I love that, let me teach you all you need to know.” I feel like she’d be the latter.

I wish that her body wasn’t so orange in this picture but I have to admit….this might be one of my favorite pictures ever posted on this site. The only thing I don’t like is the Playet Magazine logo. The boots, the positioning of her body, the nipple sticking out, her hair, her bracelets, earrings, even the fucking rocks work. It’s a great shot.

Does anyone know what “Mudflap Girl” means? Neither do I. Do you think it has anything to do with her two blond over-the-hill still partying, huge breasted friends? Wow I’d love three minutes with those two. By the way, is it even remotely possible to have bikini bottoms that small? Obviously we’re talking full waxes and God knows what else. I can just picture their entire backs being filled with tattoos. Check out the guy on the left in the background. See what I mean? There’s gotta be tats on their backs. He’s in complete shock that one of them says “50 and still going out like it’s 1999.”

You really can’t argue with the combination of age, body, experience, French manicure, Vegas Rehab vibe, party till 3am and doing the next day stuff. Mudflap girl is a real champ and I hope I see her lounging by the pool at the Wynn someday.

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