Jan 07 2008
I’m going on record right now in saying I may have found one of the hottest girls that I’ve ever posted on this site. To anyone that actually knew of this woman and didn’t alert me? Honestly a big “fuck you” to you. I mean this girl has got some amazing pictures in her Myspace Profile not to mention at her website. I think Jessica Burciaga and Monica Leigh have some major competition (just look in categories because I was too lazy to put in the links). So given that I’m completely smitten with Erika I’m going to dedicate this post to two subjects. The first is, What would you do to have sex with Erika? The second is, what would you do if you had a relationship with Erika and she broke up with you?
Answer number 1: To have sex with Erika I would allow her to run around the world, climb the highest mountains, swim in the dirtiest oceans, wrestle the biggest alligators, eat the spiciest of foods, do all of this without deodorant or shoes, have her come back to me, spit on my face and have me go down on her for 6 weeks without coming up for air.
Answer number 2: If she broke up with me I’d publicly display my penis to the entire world in an internet broadcast. Why? Because the humiliation of exposing a small penis to the world would be nothing compared to the pain Erika would inflict on me.
Answer number 1B – In order to have sex with Erika I would hammer a six inch spike through a board with my penis. A guy’s got to have his standards. Those of you who can come up with the movie I just quoted will get a gold star. I’ll give you all a hint. Val Kilmer and a lot of popcorn.
Answer number 2B – If Erika ever broke up with me I would write her a really nice love song to try to get her back.
Answer 1C – In order to have sex with Erika I would hire Ben Stein to stand outside her window and utter the words “Erika?” continuously for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week similarly to how he said “Frye?” in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off until she agreed to bang me.
Answer 2C – If Erika broke up with me I would hire Ben Stein to stand outside her window and utter the words “Erika?” continuously for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week similarly to how he said “Frye?” in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off until she agreed to take me back.
By the way what the hell is America’s Most Smart Model? It’s obviously some dumb joke and it really makes me want to puke. However, if they keep spewing out girls like Erika then they must be on to something. Here’s to Medina. She’s really unbelievable. Of all the women I’ve posted thus far I think she’s in my top 5 and I can honestly say I hope to meet her and touch her tushy.