Let’s do a little background on this girl whose Myspace Profile I stumbled on the other day. We all know that her name is Patrycja Mikula. That will be the last time I write the word “Patrycja” because it’s a royal pain in the ass to type. This person had her brief moment as a Playboy Cybergirl in August 2007. So she’s not an amateur, she’s not really famous, and she’s incredibly hot so she belongs up here. And, could you find her personal pictures anywhere else? No, I didn’t think so. So for all you twits who want to keep seeing amateurs, where else can you find home style taken pictures of chicks like this? Especially pictures with boyfriends that look like their name might be Olaf and who could easily beat the piss out of me? Of course you can always check out her nude pictures if you’d like.

Look man, either this dude is a mammoth of a human being or she’s a dwarf. Call me crazy but I just don’t think that Playboy is going to feature any dwarfs in their magazine. Who knows though? Maybe they should have a special little person’s issue. That would be pretty cool. Here’s another maybe. Maybe I should just pass “Go” and head straight to hell. In any event, her boy is an absolute giant. He’s definitely a badass. Russian Mafia? Yikes.

Oh boy! Is that the outline of a nipple? That does absolutely nothing for me in any way, shape, or form, considering that I just posted a link to her more erotic work. Now won’t this post get Patrycja (damnet I wrote it) some more press? I’m a little annoyed right now. I had two emails asking me to remove posts on my Facebook site. Girls whined that all I do is make fun of girls all day, that I’m pathetic, etc etc. Sorry to have given you all bad ratings but damnet I write some glorious praise articles too. It’s not my fault you get wasted, pass out and post those pictures online. This site is going to be a spring board to stardom someday, you just wait. I’m gonna make it in this world dad! I’ll show you! I show you all!!!!! Jesus, sorry about that.

I’m currently sucking my fingers and have been completely knocked back into childhood wishing that I were a potty training seat and that Patrycja needed the practice.

God damn look at that mug.

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