You gotta love this Italianesque crew. I’m still amazed at this new generation of wild and crazy “yo Vinny” guys and gals. And to be roaming the streets of Boston no less. Bill Belicheck must be pissed when he sees that stuff. But alas, when you see a Myspace Profile with this as the beginning you know you’ll have some material to work with: “The name’s Barbara. known as B*.i’m a fighter. I have 3 piercings.ive got 14 [ including nose/ears/industrial/bellybutton ].tattoos to come. im a pretty wild chick & love to have fun.always upp for a good time. message me for the screenname!!” Forgive me, it would take me an hour to decipher that. I think it was written in Guido code or something. Couldn’t you just picture that little blurb in the “casual encounters” section on Craigslist? I can’t imagine how much fun I’d have with Barbara. I don’t like that her name is Barbara though. It’s needs to be Marie.

I simply don’t understand what goes on in the heads of these females. I’m being sincere here. Barbara, I’m speaking to you from the heart. What possibly do you find attractive or remotely redeeming about this male you are standing next to? What in the world is this guy? Look at his hair. Look at his glasses. How can a person who has the slightest bit of intelligence take this guy seriously? How could a girl actually consider blowing this guy! Jesus if it’s you who has done the blowing then I think we’re living in a bizarro world.

Barbara. One request. Smile. Just once. Give us a smile. It’s quite alright to smile. You won’t be uncool or not a badass. You don’t always have to be tough. You don’t always have to look “better” than it all. You are gorgeous and have an amazing body. You have to understand how amazingly lucky you are to have those two things. It makes life about a thousand times better. Just fucking smile damnet. And ditch those douchebags you keep hanging out with.

See what I mean? Who the fuck is this guy? OK I’m starting to get really upset here. I’m not mentally equipped to deal with a girl this hot hanging out with these fairy cakes. They probably gang up on normal guys and beat them senseless like a pack of dirty hyenas. Then again, I’ll bet these same guys run home to play “Doom” on their computers and just don’t tell anyone.

Alright, whatever. I have nothing left in this tank. Barbara, I’d love to watch you have sex someday. That is all. I just want to add that I love the pictures where braces make an appearance.

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