Can someone please explain to me what in the world happened to Jenna Jameson? You see THIS is what I’m talking about right here. Gigantic cans, submissive looking, waiting to get completely violated. Now I’m 99% sure I’d be afraid of her in person and kissing her would probably taste like kissing a newly painted wall.

Here are the links:

Dell’s Customer Service – Flabber

Kathleen Turner Hasn’t Had Sex in Two Years – Drunkenstepfather

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Party Staffer Photos – Busted Coverage

Floyd Mayweather Comes to the WWE – COED Magazine

This Trumps a Punter’s DUI – Losers with Socks

Kim Kardashian at Some Party – Dirty Rotten Whore

Cheryl Tweety is a WAG One Percenter – On205th

Morning Wood: Sometimes Red is Better – Brahsome

The 10 Lames Autographs on Ebay – Holy Taco

You Suck at your Job! – Epic Carnival

Johnny Knoxville Almost Loses his Balls – Tasty Booze

Alison Angel Makes Green Look Easy – Attuworld

Before They Were Stars: Tom Brady – The Big Lead

Take a look at America’s Dirtiest Homes – Bright Black Internet

As you can see Paulina is very classy. Any time you see a hat with a skeleton and little red hearts that take the place of eyeballs and a nose, you can probably rest assure that you’ll have an interesting night. I don’t remember how I stumbled on Paulina’s Myspace Profile nor do I really care. All I do know is that I dig the Latina flavor. Unfortunately that flavor sometimes comes with a lot of grease attached in the form of guys named Antonio and Paulo. Is that racist? I wonder if it is. Some people might take offense to that. I don’t know, I don’t think so. It’s’ been known that Latina women are far and away my favorite. I mean who you hang out with and such is a product of where you come from and how you were raised, not your race. So if Paulina is a club girl and hangs out with greasy dudes, she could be black, asian, I don’t care. Glad we settled all of that. Let’s move on.

Is this guy’s hair dreamy or what? In all honesty he’s a good looking guy and bottom line is that he gets to do things to Paulina that I or you will never do. However, come on bud. You’re wearing a shirt with a lion on it. Alright can we please focus on Paulina’s ass for a minute? She has the kind of look where if I had a porno movie of her, it would take me a very long time to get tired of it. Do you know what I’m talking about? Like when you have a new movie and certain scenes are your “go to” scenes. I feel like Paulina’s scene would be my “go to” scene and it would take me about a month before needing to buy a new movie and find fresh material. Though I could see myself returning to her scene often.

Pole dancing. Now that’s the right idea. Is her friend attractive? Nah. Not really. I really got pat myself on the back for working hard to bring back these amateurs. While some of you out there just like the plain old hot chicks, this site began with strictly amateurs. If I could have these types of girls up all the time I would but I can’t. Just not enough of them out there hence why I put up the models. I really need to start a modeling agency. I’m an unbelievable judge of character based off of pictures and blurbs from Myspace Profiles. I think that’s all you need to be an agent, right?

You’d think or hope that this is some kind of porn site right? No, it’s just a bunch of hair stylists acting annoying and teasing us. However, that might not be such a bad idea for a dumb Cinemax after dark series. Or even a porn site. Some kind of hair salon girls that get down at their place of business type of site. You know, picking up loose hairs off the floor and playing with curling irons and such? Jesus am I a visionary or what?

Those are her parents. Yay!

More Pictures:

How amazing would it be to be Reggie Bush? The guy is a genetic freak, lives in New Orleans, get to pump that booty every single night and he happens to be a very good looking guy. Yes I’m gay and I’m really getting at the fact that I’d like to be tapping that Reggie Bush ass too. Actually, I’d like the pool cue to be tapping something. I love her.

Kimbo Slice Destroys Tank Abbott – Drunkenstepfather

Disturbing Strip Search – This is Nuts – Flabber

Kim Kardashian Handles a Pool Cue – Busted Coverage

Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe – COED Magazine

Dunk Contest Highlights – Macgsworld

MILF Monday: Isla Fisher -Holy Taco

Tera Patrick at the House of Blues – Attuworld

Paris Hilton Whorish on Birthday – Dirty Rotten Whore

Conservatives Make Charles Barkley Sick – Brahsome

Sexy Fans for Life – Hottie Hunter

Top 10 False Signs of Spring – Epic Carnival

Jarah Mariano is an Absolute Babe – Bright Black Internet

Danielle Lloyd Gives us a Treat – On205th

Jaime XXX Dancing at Crail – Zootoday (NSFW)

How to Arrange a Threesome – Cuzoogle

Carlos Beltran talks shit – Losers with Socks

Sports Illustrated: Daniela Sarahyba – Red Balcony

Bar Refaeli: Monday Morning Pick Me Up – Tastybooze

You gotta love this Italianesque crew. I’m still amazed at this new generation of wild and crazy “yo Vinny” guys and gals. And to be roaming the streets of Boston no less. Bill Belicheck must be pissed when he sees that stuff. But alas, when you see a Myspace Profile with this as the beginning you know you’ll have some material to work with: “The name’s Barbara. known as B*.i’m a fighter. I have 3 piercings.ive got 14 [ including nose/ears/industrial/bellybutton ].tattoos to come. im a pretty wild chick & love to have fun.always upp for a good time. message me for the screenname!!” Forgive me, it would take me an hour to decipher that. I think it was written in Guido code or something. Couldn’t you just picture that little blurb in the “casual encounters” section on Craigslist? I can’t imagine how much fun I’d have with Barbara. I don’t like that her name is Barbara though. It’s needs to be Marie.

I simply don’t understand what goes on in the heads of these females. I’m being sincere here. Barbara, I’m speaking to you from the heart. What possibly do you find attractive or remotely redeeming about this male you are standing next to? What in the world is this guy? Look at his hair. Look at his glasses. How can a person who has the slightest bit of intelligence take this guy seriously? How could a girl actually consider blowing this guy! Jesus if it’s you who has done the blowing then I think we’re living in a bizarro world.

Barbara. One request. Smile. Just once. Give us a smile. It’s quite alright to smile. You won’t be uncool or not a badass. You don’t always have to be tough. You don’t always have to look “better” than it all. You are gorgeous and have an amazing body. You have to understand how amazingly lucky you are to have those two things. It makes life about a thousand times better. Just fucking smile damnet. And ditch those douchebags you keep hanging out with.

See what I mean? Who the fuck is this guy? OK I’m starting to get really upset here. I’m not mentally equipped to deal with a girl this hot hanging out with these fairy cakes. They probably gang up on normal guys and beat them senseless like a pack of dirty hyenas. Then again, I’ll bet these same guys run home to play “Doom” on their computers and just don’t tell anyone.

Alright, whatever. I have nothing left in this tank. Barbara, I’d love to watch you have sex someday. That is all. I just want to add that I love the pictures where braces make an appearance.

More Pictures:

There’s just something I like about that belly and the hair. I’m in a dirty kind of mood today. You’ll also notice an amazingly new title to this ongoing daily post: Daily Links. How fucking genius is that? Anyway, enjoy.

On with the links:

Weekly Roundup of Hotties from Flabber

Call Center Salesman goes Insane from COED Magazine

The Search For Erin Andrews from Busted Coverage

Amii And Emma Love Each Other from Zootoday (NSFW)

Christina Aguilera in Playboy? from Attuworld

Little Gary Coleman Doesn’t Unleash his Little Coleman from Drunkenstepfather

Not Getting Any? You’re not Alone from Bright Black Internet

Meagan Goode…WOW! from Dirty Rotten Whore

From the Great White North from Epic Carnival

Winders for Bammers from Losers With Socks

Her Boots are made for Stalking from Macgsworld

Hot or Not? Ashlee Simpson from On205th

A Friday Prank for Everyone from Tasty Booze

Friday Fixx from Brahsome

Be Careful when Trick or Treating from Cuzoogle

Jamie Lynn Spears is my kind of Gal from Blog of Hilarity