Feb
12
2008
*For the record you guys can just skip reading this whole post….or not. Also, Jesse was in Playboy. Man what I’d have given to be that photographer. Here’s her Myspace Profile.
It’s been a long time Jesse. We’ve been through a lot. Well not too much. Those of you who have been following this site may remember that I posted Jesse a while back. We don’t even have to get into why I posted her. She’s obviously gorgeous and possesses every aesthetic asset that a man could possibly want. However, as I sometimes get a little carried away, I made some comments that many women such as Jesse would find a little offensive. Jesse wrote me an email demanding that I take down the post to which I obliged and responded to her. This post is my response to Jesse.
Jesse, you and many of the models out there (legit models) have great careers going and I’m sure you and your fiance are great people (I had made fun of him even though it’s quite obvious I had reason to be jealous. Look at her!). I’d never REALLY purport to know you in the slightest. At the same time, I can’t deny how unbelievably sexy you are. It’s pretty common to make a sexual comment when someone like you is on the screen. It’s almost impossible not to! OK I better stop myself before saying something you’ll get pissed at. At the same time you realize some of the girls I do post, who flaunt themselves on Myspace in some respect have it coming to them. You on the other hand? It was unnecessary. Still though, man you have a great body! OK I have to stop again.
You happen to be extremely attractive and somewhat under the radar, hence why I posted you. Your response does not surprise me in the least bit and for hurting your feelings I do apologize. And anything written about your fiance? I hope he smiles knowing that he represents a very great and very small group of guys that were able to land a phenomenally gorgeous woman like yourself.
So my statements of saying the things I’d do to you and all of that? Look, I’d never deny that I actually would love to be able to get into those situations with perhaps your imaginary twin sister? Saying those things aloud? I guess that’s where you’d take some offense. I’ll let my readers conjure up ideas, and I’m sure they’ll conjure up plenty (won’t you guys). I’ll still get in my comments on future posts. In fact I’ll go back to being that same nutty guy who rags on women. Hell I’ll probably get back to that tomorrow. However, you are damned fine and I’m sure you realize every single guy reading this site wants a piece of the Preston. So today, I’ve taken a break and have been nice. Here’s to you Jesse Preston.
By the way I had to post this picture because the guy in the background is amazing.
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Feb
11
2008
I think the term “infatuation” is a little much but there’s no doubt Kim is a cutie. I can’t say I approve of her Myspace Profile address which contains the term “Lil Kim” in it. Hey there’s nothing wrong with Lil Kim, it’s just that I don’t think Kim Martin should want to confuse herself with a female rapper/singer/criminal who’s best known for virtually wearing nothing and talking about fellatio in her songs. Fellatio! Hahaha. Ok, sucking dick or cock. I will say this though. I’d definitely bang Lil’ Kim. OK back to Kim Martin. I almost feel bad. She’s kind of in this second tier of Vegas club girls. What I mean is that I see pictures of her on Billboards where the headlining women are Bobbi Billard and Brooke Banx. I think Kim is just as hot as them and Bobbi is kind of mannish if you ask me.
While I’m not a huge fan of these side angle type shots there’s no discounting that kind of All-American look and push up bra going to work for us. I don’t know, there’s just this something about Ms. Little Martin here that’s very inviting. I have no clue as to her mental capacity but if she’s smart at all she could easily use that little smile in any way she wants. Sure it’s one thing to get away with speeding tickets by showing some leg or a cute smile to a police officer. It’s another to use that charm and shiny teeth to other ends. Oh I don’t know like seducing the agent of Sigfried and Roy? OK bad example but some other cool agent.
This Justin Price guy. I have to meet him. There’s got to be at least one Justin Price picture in easily 50% of my posts. Let’s do some math here. Let’s say Justin Price has 500 models in his website. Let’s say he hits on 50% of those models (which is a low number). We now have 250 girls. Let’s say he has a 5% success rate. We’re talking 12 1/2 models he’s gotten to bang. I just felt like doing that for no particular reason. Why? Because it depresses me and passes the time.
The guy in the pink couldn’t be any gayer if he tried. If you think I’m at all wrong you must see the next picture.
Jesus what a cake boy. Enough said. Have a nice one kids.
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Feb
08
2008
Wouldn’t that be a nice introduction to whatever hotel you visited on Spring Break? As you can see I retrieved this image from Babes of College. Not a bad site if you’re into that sort of thing. You know, hot girls in college acting insane and getting naked? Sounds pretty boring to me.
On with the links:
This Week’s Tail from Flabber
Fergie Flashing her Ass from Drunkenstepfather
Veronica Zemanova is Back from Attuworld (NSFW)
Former Playboy Girl Joins WWE from Busted Coverage
Miss COED: Lauren Stevens, UF ’08 from COED Magazine
Heidi Montage Shows off her Cleavage from Dirty Rotten Whore (NSFW)
SI’s Eer Cheerleader from Losers With Socks
Little Jerry Seinfeld from Macgsworld
Hot or Not? Brittany Snow from On205th
Top 10 MLB Stories that make haters smile from Epic Carnival
Allie LaForce is Fairly Attractive from Brahsome
Very Funny Craigslist Ad from Tasty Booze
Naughty Asian Office Girls from Bright Black Internet (NSFW)
The Seven: WordPress Plugins and Hot Chicks from Cuzoogle
Jesse Metcalf Got Knocked Out from Blog of Hilarity
Feb
08
2008
Wait a second fellas, you didn’t think she had a real PhD did you? Lexxi is so funny! She has a PhD in Men. Hahahaha. I personally think Lexxi has a PhD in not doing things hardcore enough, but maybe I haven’t been to the lost tapes that got her into the industry. You know, those tapes that have her doing things against her will with a filthy director who says “you’ll be a star, I promise, now just do this line and let me use my fist and…” well you guys know the rest. In case you are wondering and in case her Myspace Profile doesn’t give off the hint, Lexxi isn’t a normal “lady.” She likes ladies, she’s does things with ladies, and men. She’s an adult entertainer. Let’s talk about that PhD some more though.
Did I say something about a PhD? I must have been distracted by some underpants slippage. Seriously though. There’s gotta be at least one porn star out there who actually has a PhD right? I wonder if my Google adsense is going to have PhD ads now that I’m putting the term “PhD” so often in this article. What do you think that porn star who has this degree does? Are they better at the sex? Do they mess with all the fluids and try and have experiments? Are they at least trying to help find a cure for AIDS? Seriously. There’s definitely one PhD’er in there and I want to know who it is.
What is it about girls in the adult film world that think guys like this are hot? Every single time I see one of these girls on Myspace they have a picture with some freakish dudes and the caption always says something like “found these two hotties in the hotel.” What do you mean hotties? I don’t understand. I supposed if spiking your hair 3 feet, bleaching it, wearing a gay watch and doing meth for 6 hours is considered hot then Lexxi and her other industry friends may have a point. Are the girls just so delusional that all the drugs and facials have gotten to their brains?
I really don’t have any comments for this one. One thing I can say is that it’s been while since we had any porn stars up here and I think it might be time for a top 10 porn stars on Myspace. Let me know guys. I’ll set it up.
Jesus Christ Bill Maher, get some! I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a picture like this of Bill Maher in all of my life. I hope someone drugged him that night, though I’m pretty sure he drugged himself pretty good.
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