Man does this girl remind me of the woman who could play the perfect MILF. Seriously. This is a very obscure reference but I’m hoping that Jaimie becomes the next Candy Vegas.(scroll down and the article is there) This is a woman who really didn’t even get going in the adult industry until she was past forty years old. She’s not all that great looking, has huge cans and will do most anything in a scene. There’s just this quality about her that’s so demanding. I think that Jamie’s got that quality. I mean those guns just demand your attention and I think she could get a dude to do most anything. So what do we say about Jaimie? Well, she is a Vegas girl (though grew up in small town in Illinois) to no one’s surprise. Does a ton of car modeling and topless teasing which is to be expected. I’m very curious as to how old she is. It say she’s 99 in her Myspace profile. I’d love to think she’s in her mid to late thirties but something tells me she’s young. She does have her own website but it’s under construction and sucks thus far.

Here’s about one of the worst things I’ve read today: THIS IS MY *OFFICIAL MODEL MYSPACE PAGE* I am a model so anyone that can help promote my career..photographers, make-up artists or other models id love to chat!I am in NO WAY A PORNSTAR OR DO NUDES. So DONT ask me to send you private pictures! it wont happen. Hmm. Here’s my question. If I were to get over 1 million hits to this page within one week do you think that Jaimie would send me some pictures? I think so. And what if Jaimie were offered 5 million dollars to let one topless picture of her get released? Do you think she’d say no? I didn’t think so either. Everyone’s got a price Jaimie. However, we appreciate your integrity in your Myspace Profile.

If were to interview Jaimie Nicole here are some of the things I’d ask her: How old are you? What is your favorite kind of vegetable? Who is your favorite porn star? Why won’t you pose nude? What would it cost to have you pose nude? Why don’t you pose nude with me? What’s the name of that great restaurant that’s 5 blocks from here? Want to grab some lunch? Want to you know…share some cookies? Why won’t you return my calls? How come every letter I sent you gets a “returned to sender” marker on it? Why can’t I get that damned popcorn kernel out of my teeth? Let’s stop there.

Then again there’s this guy….which is nice.

Now that looks like a picture of a great restaurant hostess.

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I’ll be the first to admit it. I don’t think Amanda Beard is all that attractive. I could share some pretty assy pictures of her. However, I will say this. When she’s done up, airbrushed and has just the right amount of moisture on her skin, she looks damned good. Granted if you ran into her on the street and saw her with no makeup I guarantee you’d think she was pretty nasty….however that’s really not important in our world. Our world isn’t real. Our world consists of the beautiful “unreal.” The world where we actually think we’ll have anal sex with Olympic Swimmers. Am I wrong?

The Best of Today

Amanda Beard Hits the Top 25 - COED Magazine

Super Slow Motion Bitch Slap - Attuworld

Dick Enberg is a Horny Bastard - Busted Coverage

Victoria’s Secret Bikini Time - Dirty Rotten

This Chick Gets Around With Celebs - Don Chavez

Intro to Emma Balfour in a Bikini - Drunkenstepfather

Women Hate These 50 Words - Holy Taco

This QB Has Cock Trouble - Loser with Socks

What’s up with Kristie Lee Cook? - Tasty Booze

Annoying People at the Office - Next Round

A Funny Tricycle Accident - On205th

McCants is a Stud - Brahsome

Dumb Woman Joke - BBI

Whoopi Love Britney - Bitten and Bound

Might be a bad year in the MLB - Epic Carnival

Danneel Harris. How about that? First it’s Sophia Bush, who is an obvious choice, but now there’s this Danneel Harris girl we have to contend with. I’ve never watched the show “One Tree Hill” but from these pictures I’ve seen, the red headed Harris shows a nice amount of skin. And it’s some pretty nice skin if I do say so. Nice enough that I’m writing an article based on the fact that she was accessible through Myspace. Would have been nice to find some personal pictures but I don’t think you guys will mind the ones I’m providing in this article.

On and by the way, she plays a high school girl? You gotta love that. She’s 28 years old. I know that’s typical for actors these days, but some of these pictures I’m looking at? I mean come on. With all due respect she’s definitely got a “woman” quality to her. The red hair thing is such an amazing plus. Aside from Angie Everheart, I just don’t see many women with red hair who are this hot these days.

These screen shot pictures aren’t normally my style but I can’t help it here. Powder blue is just a great color for her. I’m pretty sure nothing like this ever happened when I went to high school. Would have been nice if a hot 17 year old just decided to take off her shirt in the middle of class. I assume she did this to prove a point? What point I couldn’t tell you.

Best part of this picture other than the stuff animals? The door is open. Such realism in these CW shows you know? What’s to stop this network from going soft porn. Ratings would go through the roof.

She is ridiculously good looking.

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I’m a Yankees fan. I’ve been a Yankees fan my whole life. In all honesty I liked the Yankees better when they sucked and had Dave Winfield (my all time favorite player) and Don Mattingly. Don’t get me wrong. I still root for the team. I’m definitely a Derek Jeter fan. He’s a gamer, no question about it. Can’t say I approve of A-Rod being married to a man and taking cutesy topless pictures in the park. But you know what? Despite all the money and the team being so far removed from anything resembling those winning teams we knew and loved from what seems like centuries ago…..Fuck it. Let the Captain get his sun. Guy can do whatever he wants. He’ll be getting more ass than all of us.

The Best of Today

The Captain Needs His Sun - Don Chavez

Tara Reid is learning to talk drunk - Drunkenstepfather

Top Five Hockey Crowd Fights - Busted Coverage

Simona Fusco Stratten Has Earned This Honor - COED Magazine

Kristen Davis Seems to Bare all here - Attuworld (NSFW)

Just Wait and You’ll Love the Ending - Flabber

Bill Belicheck isn’t A Sexual? Wow - Holy Taco

Denise Richards Wearing Red - Dirty Rotten

A Tyler Smith Video - Loser With Socks

A Nice Madness Weekend Recap - Next Round

The UCLA Underwear Run - Tasty Booze

Never Enough Sofia Vergara - On205th

When Britney was Hot - BBI

Very Wild Spring Break Video - Bitten and Bound

Mark Cuban is starting to lose it - Epic Carnival

Ladies and gentlemen,

Since I’ve been coined the “internet girl king” by many of my cohorts and pretty much myself, I figured that I’d start bringing even more women to you. I don’t know where, I don’t know how I’ll find them, but I will. And every so often, hopefully as much as possible, I’ll be bringing you a new segment of “The Next Mrs. Landers.” Today I bring you Simona Fusco Stratten. I’d also like to thank Hollywood Tuna for bringing her to my attention. Not much is known about this Italian, ready to explode in the U.S actress but I got this tidbit from her website. “Born in Milan, Italy, Simona grew up in both Italy and Vienna, Austria. At the age of 14 she moved to the United States where her first “Hollywood moment” was when director Oliver Stone approached her to play the title role in LOLITA — which her mother refused to let her do because of the subject matter.” I mean there’s not much else to be said is there? Dominique Swayne got that role if I’m not mistaken. I think it’s safe to say Simona would have fit in splendidly and that she’d also make a fine Mrs. Landers.

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