On her myspace profile I keep seeing signs pointing to Playboy. Valerie’s been to the mansion and she seems to model, but I just can’t find her anywhere or anything pointing to her last name. In any event, it’s kind of obvious as to why I posted her. It’s because it looks like we’d have very serious and down to earth conversations.

Valerieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Cum on me! Valerieeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Vagina with me! Valerieeeeeeeeeeee! Blow on me! Valerieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I’m the same slut I used to be. Those of you unfamiliar with Steve Winwood must not realize that he is the greatest songwriter of all time.

Now I can’t say I’m a fan of the eyebrow ring. I also can’t say that if she asked me to pierce 5 eyebrow rings in each of my eyebrows that I wouldn’t do it if she allowed me to play with her high heeled shoes for 12 minutes. I mean her tits, yeah.

The password is: left nipple.

If these girls were involved, I’d surely develop a gambling problem

Now I’m not a betting man but I’d certainly be willing to wager my life savings that I wouldn’t be able to last more than 15 seconds with the nude body of this chick on top of my peckerwood.

The Twenty

Introducing the Bikini girls of Betus – [Bustedcoverage]

Nancy Odell is 42 and very bangable in a bikini – [Doubleviking]

Roxanne Pallett can paint me any color she wants – [COED Magazine]

Ivanka Trump’s legs work for me – [Dirty Rotten]

Olesya Rulin’s kick ass bikini pictures – [NS4W]

Silva Lucimara should have gotten more Olympic coverage – [On205th]

You can’t deny how funny nutshots are – [Don Chavez]

The dirty names of politicians – [Holy Taco]

Get an ass bra for that extra lift – [Tastybooze]

The amazing ball jumper is insane – [Unibrow]

Jessica Simpson bikini candids – [Cameltap]

UK Soap star Sammy Winward is such a sweety – [DJ Mick]

Hillary Fisher is yesterday’s afternoon cupcake – [Nextround]

Madonna’s hormones are ridiculous – [Derober]

Jessica Alba shows off the new bombs – [My Chill Pill]

A Fantasy Baseball discussion – [Losers with Socks]

The Undertaker takes down Andy Roddick – [Macgsworld]

Oh those crazy soccer players – [Flabber]

I would so nail Paris Hilton’s face – [The Beer Goggler]

Dude, that’s your sister – [Brahsome]

Honestly, there is nothing bad I can really say about Sarah Spain. This girl absolutely kicks ass. And it’s not like I say so many bad things about chicks on here is it? It’s more of a “man what I’d do to her kind of a thing.”

But Sarah? Sarah just rocks. This girl is a true fan and not in the kind of “I can’t stand when girls try to be too big a sports fan kind of a way.” She just kicks ass. Sarah knows she’s a chick. She knows to show off the guns. She knows to look like a woman and to be a woman.

At the same time? She drinks with the boys (as you’ll see below) and she just rocks it. I don’t know how else to put it. Chicago is a lucky town to have a girl like Sarah. I mean that honey. You rock.

Quick question. How many of the Bears have hit it? Over under? Five.

I would definitely Bianca her Gascoigne.

Welcome back to work everyone! Isn’t it awesome to be in your offices? Well look at it this way, you only have a couple of hours left in the day. Hopefully these 20 links will help you kill the time. Also, I have an erection. Thanks.

The Twenty

Bianca Gascoigne is definitely a penis stiffener – [COED Magazine]

Nina Moric chilling in a bikini on the beach – [Doubleviking]

Olivia Munn was the Bonertown Hottie of the day – [Unibrow]

Check out this drunk Green Bay Packer mom – [Bustedcoverage]

Lohan’s sporting some see through clothes – [Dirty Rotten]

Olympic Cameltoe! – [Drunkenstepfather]

I completely forgot how hot Victoria Silvstedt is – [On205th]

Hot Aussie Model Jennifer Hawkins won’t pose nude – [DJ Mick]

Now this chick knows how to wear an American flag – [Don Chavez]

Jessica Simpson in a bikini and cowboy hat – [NS4W]

What a great picture: It must be the glasses – [Holy Taco]

Rachael Casey is the hottest new beach babe – [Zootoday] (NSFW)

How to find out if you’re a prostitute – [Tastybooze]

I would definitely bang Stephanie Ly – [Nextround]

Tons of sexy celebrity wallpapers – [My Chill Pill]

Spray-on Condoms – [Flabber]

A One Night Stand with Eva la Rue – [Bright Black Internet]

Here’s some nice lingerie action – [Brahsome]

Easy ways to slack off at work – [Asylum]

Gabrielle Anwar can burn my notice anytime – [Cuzoogle]

For the record, Erica’s boyfriend kind of looks like Kevin James on steriods. So now that this is out of the way, you think the big bad boyfriend knows that it’s more than likely his woman Erica had sex with Hugh Hefner? You have to figure it’s at least a 50/50 shot if not more right? I’m convinced that any female that’s been in the mansion or in a shoot has seen Hefner’s hef.

But who is Erica Chevillar anyway? Well she’s American which is a good start and nice representation of our country. More importantly Erica is a bikini model who started off as a teacher. Some of her “bikini” shots leaked and Erica became known as the “bikini teacher.” By the way, she taught 10th grade social science. Yes that’s right 10th grade.

So that means 15 and 16 year-old boys had to go to class and stare at this woman for about an hour each day? What do you think the average male scores were in that class? I can’t see anyone getting better than a D. And aptly named the “Hot Teacher,” Chevillar went on to post in Playboy in 2007.

What does Erica do now? Look good and party with guys on steroids.