Now I know I say this a lot, and I hope its meaning isn’t too diminished, but I need to say it again: I would marry Olivia Munn. No questions asked (and I think marriage is for pussies who are giving up on pussy). This girl is utterly adorable. Listen to this quote from her Myspace page – “I sometimes forget I have freckles.” Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? That one line is like 100 kittens riding Roomba’s and 200 hamsters on pianos rolled into one.

I’m not even sure I could sleep with Olivia. I kind of just want to tickle her and maybe spoon through Atonement. Not saying it wouldn’t lead to sexy explosion, but I am saying it wouldn’t matter.

Olivia Munn as Princess Leia holds the distinct record of making the Internet blow its collective load at once.

Olivia did Playboy back in 2007 but it was the lame Playboy gig where nobody gets naked. Oh, did I mention her favorite TV show is The Wire? It just doesn’t end. Wait, she likes country music. Hey you can’t win ‘em all. For more Olivia, check out her official site and her blog.

The Rest of the Sexy Olivia Munn Pictures…

Our friends over at NS4W.org have compiled an awesome collection of hot amateur girls. Some pics are definitely NSFW, so your boss should either be on the shitter or in on the action. Oh, and you’ll need tissue.

And the rest of Today’s Best…

• Is this Chick Trishelle Cannatella Hot? (VOTE)
• Jennifer Hawkins Looks Amazing Just Walking (HOT)
• Drugged up Kid Makes Me Pee a Little (VIDEO)
• Alice Greczyn Needs More Media Coverage (HOT)
• Christian Bale Loses His Bat Cool (AUDIO)
• Hot Bikini Sisters? Yes Please! (HOT)
• MySpace’s Tila Tequila Showing Some Cleavage (HOT)
• Good Ideas for Postcards (COOL)
• Kickboxing Hottie Michelle Baker (HOT)
• Funny Bud Commercial. Mmmm… beer. (VIDEO)
• Beyonce Is Hot In Giant Magazine (CELEB)
• Who is Hotter? First Lady Edition! (WRONG)
• Latest UFC Fight Controversy (SPORT)

It was a brilliant idea: I’d do an article featuring the best boobs this site has known! It would be a beautiful thing, where breasts and Myspace and readers’ hands would come together like never before.

Five minutes into my research and I hit a round fleshy wall steeped in nipples. Do you know how many great racks are on this site? Sure you do, but I was up to my neck in funtastic mammaries. I decided to narrow it down to simply the BIGGEST boobs. Of course 90% of Myspace girls have oversized jumblees, so I decided not to include girls that were too modely. In other words – no airbrushed boobies.

Even then, singling out the biggest, rawest, veiniest boobs was tough. Plus I’ve got kind of a shitty set of criteria now. Like how did veins get in there? Whatever, I’m tired and there is NO excuse for a boob post having this many words.

May I Present The Best Biggest Boobs of Myspace:

Wendy was one of my very first girls I posted, and nobody forgets a first like this. She’s got one of those boob sets that boggles the mind. Hey, just found another Wendy post.

This is Mandi. She’s crazy. Oh well.

This girl Krystal Lina has issues, but man what a rack.

Nice boobs, sideburns! See more of Amber Campisi.

The alphabet does not apply to boobs like Denise Milani’s.

Our girl Nicole Marie loves the cleavage shots. So does me.

The one on the right is our girl Tainted Desire.

Danielle Mabelle is Asian and has above average breasticles.

Valerie has nice num-nums.

Sophia Rossi has some massive chesticles.

Okay, this one is to kind of throw you (and I apologize if I caught you mid-spank). I don’t need to state the obvious, but Samantha has some of the biggest sweater cows known to man. And no, she’s not particularly attractive. Still, I’d hit it. Fuckin’ rights I would.

Miss Penny Lane sports dairy pillows so big, she once supplied a small Cambodian town with milk for an entire month. True story! I’ve never officially posted this girl, so check out her profile for more pics.

Well, there you have it – the biggest best boobs of Myspace. I’m off to cash in my meal ticket now. Going to sell this list to a local back surgeon. He’s kind of a perv too, so it’s a great match.

• Miley Cyrus With Dog (CELEB)
• Olivia Munn in Maid Uniform (CELEB)
• Hilarious News Murder Blooper (VIDEO)
• Kim Kardashian at Some Awards Show (CELEB)
• Jessica Cirio Has Amazing Thong Ass (HOT)
• Jessica Alba is one hot MILF (CELEB)
• Adorable Kitten Rides Roomba! (VIDEO)
• A Guide to Playing With Boobs (SELF HELP)