I sometimes post porn stars on the site because they are awesome. They are also, in a sense, hookers. They sleep with dudes for money. But porn stars are more quasi-hookers than full blown hookers. I’m not sure what the difference is, I just know it’s there. I’m getting off on a tangent here, so let me introduce Bentley Jo – the first 100% hooker we’ve ever featured. That’s right guys – if you like this girl, you can diddle her for the low low fee of… well, it’s probably a lot. Too much, considering Bentley Jo looks like my hairdresser.

Yes, old Bentley Jo works at the legendary Bunny Ranch in Nevada, where ugly rich guys have been getting off for years. And I have to say Bentley – I just can’t see paying for that. I mean, you’re OK, and I could most certainly handle relations with you, but other than maybe the Lumberjack Slam from Denny’s, there would be no transaction.

This pic makes me LOL because she chopped off her boob to make it Myspace friendly. Probably overkill. You can see the uncensored pic on her Bunny Ranch Profile.

Why some people think the twat squat is a sexy pose is beyond me. In fact, I’m not sure I’m going to buy her Denny’s now.

Damn, the last cookie is always the stubbornest! You can check out Bentley’s Myspace, and promise you’ll drop me a comment if you end up visiting the Ranch. P.S. I’m going to post more Bunny Girls in the future.

And I thought I was sexy whenst drinking! Today’s BEST, bitches:

• Sign in Taiwan Causes Hilarious Racial Uproar (PIC)
• Awesome Prank – The $500k Half Court Shot (VIDEO)
• Gisele Bundchen Isn’t Scared to Show Some Leg (HOT)
• 10 Hottest Superhero Babes of All Time (SUPER HOT)
• Brazilian Hottie Sheila Mello is Plenty of Eye Candy (HOT)
• See Hayden Panettiere in a Bikini… VIDEO! (VIDEO)
• Nine Looks No Dude Should Ever Attempt (SO TRUE)
• Fuck My Life Website is a Good Time (FML)
• AnnaLynne McCord Probably Gives Amazing Head (TRUE)
• Who is Hotter – The Bachelorette Edition (HOT)
• Maribel Fernandez Has Perfect T and A in Maxim (NSFW)
• A Hot Blonde Model From… Sweden? No way! (HOT)

So she’s not exactly a world class beauty, but you have to appreciate the effort of 18 year old Ashley. She’s got hundreds of these shots on her Myspace. Click it. I dare you. Or just check out Today’s Best:

• Michelle Williams Does Topless Scene in Kitchen (NSFW)
• Russia’s Version of the Laker Girls – Erectovosky! (HOT)
• Irina Sheik is a Must See in Lingerie (SILLY HOT)
• 15 Awesome Works of Origami – Who Knew? (COOL)
• Pam Anderson is Not Looking Great Again (SAD)
• Women Hide Weed Up Butts. I Apply for DEA. (TRUE)
• Krispy Kreme Donuts are So Good You’ll… (FUNNY)
• Little Hottie Georgie Jones Strips Down to Undies (HOT)
• Five Ridiculous Products Include Thocks. Yup, thocks. (SILLY)
• 100 Sexiest Topless Babes of 2009 From Nuts Mag (NSFW)
• The 66 Most Kick Ass Energy Drinks ever! (COOL)
• What Your Groceries Say About You (FUNNY)
• Karina Jelinek Will Make Your Day Better (HOT)
• Cindy Taylor in a Bikini is Bonertastic! (HOT)
• Watch Jimmy Falon’s First Late Night Open (VIDEO)

When a girl from Canada is hot, she’s really friggin hot. Case in point: 20 year old Mya from Ontario, Canada. We really know jack shit about this girl. Her Myspace is as barren as the country itself. I think I have a pretty good idea of what’s going on here. Mya has just stopped trying.

She realized this would work when she was 16 and good things started happening for no apparent reason. It starts small too, like some dweeb – we’ll call him Brock – offers to carry her books to class. Then she gets an “A” for a paper she did on hairspray and global warming. Then her dad’s friend offers her a job she’s not at all qualified for and pays her way too much. Then she gets posted on a super awesome blog and is offered a lucrative contract by Vivid. Then… I suffer a minor hand injury.

Yup, the Mya’s in the world just don’t have to give a shit, and I’m cool with that. But would it kill you to give us some sluttier pictures? Do that Mya, and neither me or the world will ask you for a single thing. Ever.

This is Cheri. She’s a MMilf. I’d love to see some more pics of her but she’s holding back on us in her profile. You just know there are some good ones out there too. I blame the kid. Why? Because blaming kids is never the wrong answer.

She looks like she’s either taking a dump or sitting on a dildo. Or maybe she’s spitting out another kid. Yeah that’s probably it. I saw it on Discovery this one time and it looked a lot like that. Mmmmm. Monday. Myspace. Milf. Mammaries. Motorboating.