Zoe Britton says she “doesn’t do porn” because she only screws girls on camera. I agree with her. Porn is such a dirty word and penises are inch for the inch the dirtiest things in the natural world so it makes sense that if you lose the dick, you lose the porn. Actually I think Zoe is actually onto something much bigger here – something that transcends the pornoverse: a NO DICK clause in every workplace contract.

So back to Zoe. She’s a 27 year-old “adult model and feature dancer”. I’m not really sure what either of those means. I think she gets naked for money, generally. And she definitely does sexy stuff with sexy girls for money. What a life. I like that look she gives like in the picture above. She’s just saying “I’m a fucking dirty whore and I’ve had more things in my butt than a Japanese sumo wrestler”. At least that’s what I get.

Full disclosure: I now have a raging hard on and I feel a certain kinship with you because I know you share a similar position. Oops – just lost it. Anyway this is some of that girl-on-girl action Zoe is good at. You can see her boobies on her official website.

Yeah I’m pretty sure she digs anal. Just a guess. For more Zoe, check our her profile & the rest of the Zoe Britton Gallery:

I think this girl is “special”…. hey, nothing wrong with that! See more cuties from the Monday Amateurs Gallery and of course, Today’s Best Links:

• Raven and Kate Get Sexy Together – NSFW (Dirty Rotten)
• Miley Cyrus Bikini Candids… fml – NSFW ads (NS4W.org)
• I like Romanian Model Alina Puscau (Uncoached)
• Some Briana Girl Like to be Topless (Busted Coverage)
• The 2009 Toronto Argo Cheerleaders (Don Chavez)
• Gianna Michaels is a German Beer Girl – NSFW (Boobie Blog)
• Cute Girl Deep Throats Big Weiner – Video (on205th)
• Emily Deyoung Fills out a Bikini Nicely (Buge Hoobs)
• Exotic Chelsea Ching is Miss COED (COED Mag)
• Tanya Andriyah is Ukrainian Hottie (Camel Tap)
• 25 Super Slutty Wedding Dresses (Manofest)
• Kagney Linn Karter is Busty & Blonde (Beer Goggler)
• MILF Monday with Bridget Moynahan (Holy Taco)
• Quote of the Day: Expensive Meteorite (Blog of Hilarity)
• Wow… Playboy Babe Valerie Cormier – NSFW (DailyPOA)
• Sexy Amateur Self-Shot Babes Gallery – NSFW Sponsor

Did you know it’s a national holiday where I live? It’s true, eh. But you and your salacious appetite for hot chicks is unrelenting. This is Filipino babe Rashel Piazza, but you’ll have to do your own research on her profile. Me? I’m going to enjoy a spa courtesy of socialized medicine!

I love a girl who can move a product and Rashel sells many a things in the Phillipines from Axe to Gold’s Gym to Telecom to Levis. She’s like their ShamWow guy (minus the cunt part).

Awwwww! Aren’t these dogs just the cutest? Get over it. Kidnapping these little bitches is the only way you’re going to get close to Rashel. The first meeting of Operation Fluff Muff kicks off tomorrow at 05:00.

Good god she’s gorgeous and she’s got a real knack for hanging out with less gorgeous people. It’s okay girl on the left. I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason Tom Cruise still calls me to hang.

The complete Rashel Piazza Gallery…

Click photo or here for the full Brit Ameera Gallery

Ameera is a trained Middle Eastern belly dancer. She’s only 20 years of age and I think she’d be perfect for any social function – company parties, birthdays, Kindergarten grads, or even say… a blog celebrating its 700th post (yes, us)! I’m not certain she’s not a spy, but I’ll take my chances.

All of Today’s Best…

• The Scariest Women at the Olypmic Games – Yikes! (Busted)
• See How Low These Lady Garments Go! (Buge Hoobs)
• The Cruz Sisters – Hottest in the World? (on205th)
• Hottie of the Month: Tori Thompson (Funtasticus)
• The 101 Sweetest Things about Summer (COED)
• 10 Funniest Superfans Caught on Camera (Manofest)
• Fernanda Shornadie & her Brazilian Tan Lines (Salty Milk)
• Eva Mendes Nearly Nude in Some Photoshoot (CamelTap)
• Busty Mannequin Brings in New Business (Blog of Hilarity)
• Autumn Reeser Was a Player in High School (HolyTaco)
• Juliana Martins Shows of Butt in Lingerie (UseMyComp)
• Whoah, Diamond Foxxx is a Bad Girl (Beer Goggler)
• Brooke Burke Showing off MILF Legs (Celeb Odor)
• Model Maira Cardi’s Tiny Lingerie – NSFW (DailyPOA)

What’s the first thing you do after a fivesome? High five I assume. Hell I’d be double slapping! Seriously this girl Maja makes my sexual history look tamer than Hannah Montannahs. Not too sure where that reference came from. I assume she’s a virgin I guess is what I’m trying to say.

Anyway, Maja has this survey on her profile that covers everything from her alleged fivesome, her love for anal, her desired dick size (I guess she used to be on the meat?), to the time she farted during sex (interesting to note that a fivesome is the only time you can legitimately get away with blowing dirty ass gas). It’s worth noting that she hasn’t logged onto her profile in over 2 years (Myspace is dying if you hadn’t heard) so you can’t begin to imagine what she’s done since.

By the way, her perfect dick size is 8.5 inches. Now normally I would call bullshit on such a claim. Generally speaking chicks don’t know dick. Size. With the exception of baby dicks (which is what she appears to be after in the above pic) and horse dicks, everything in between has more to do with how good the sex was and how much they liked the dude.

But I have to say with our girl Maja, I think she walks into a dildo store and heads straight for the 8.5 shelf with zero hesitation.

The rest of Maja the Lesbian Gallery…