Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that Brittany has things in her profile that say “25 second kegstand, third of the night!” and “I’m done with school forever!” However, this whole working at Hooters, while it’s wonderful, I can see it sucking her in for a while.

And in terms of things sucking, well, you know how to finish that sentence. It’s just that have you ever seen a finer example of your All American dumb blonde than this one? I mean first of all her name is Brittany.

Brittany’s had implants. She works at Hooters. She graduated from Radford University. The song in her Myspace Profile is “Glycerine” by Bush. She has a sick body. She parties hard but I get the impression that she’ll run with the herd rather than come up with her own ideas.

Hey man, I could be wrong. She could be a marine biologist for all I know. I just call them like I see them from the pictures. I challenge Brittany to prove me wrong, at which time I’d make her do a minute kegstand and serve me some wings.

Hooters!