When I originally saw the name “DJ Astrea” I was kind of excited because yet again I thought I’d come across a very sexy woman who knew how to control the nightclubs. However when I came across her Myspace Profile I realized that little Ms. Darlene Garcia is not a DJ, she’s a DG. I assumed that meant Dick Grabber but she merely represents a long line of “entertainers” represented by DGI Entertainment. No matter. I still think that Darlene could pretty much control any nightclub as you will clearly see from her photos. I mean she’s already got my balls in a vice.

Starlight Starbright! First crack I see tonight! Look at that little black hole

by the tush. Nice little plumber action going on there. She really has a pornstar look if I ever saw one. In fact I think that the name DJ Astrea is a delightful name for someone who takes 5 at a time. In all honesty though, I really do go nuts for these little Latinas. Especially ones who pose half nude and have tats on their backs. Check back soon at darlenegarcia.com!

Hahahaha. I’m literally laughing at both how hot she looks there and how frustrated I am. Whoa, wait a second there though. She’s got some wrinklage on those feet. Couldn’t that have been airbrushed out like her nipples are? Bad photographer, bad. Seriously though, I’d eat every one of those wrinkles for the slim chance she’d let me untie that pink ribbon.

I’ve just set up a noose and am getting ready to hang myself.

Think the movie “Pretty Woman” but way way hotter than Julia Roberts.