Houston’s Bad Girl (I assume that name is her doing) tries super hard to be a bad ass bitch with her dark profile, hidden hyperlinks, excessive cursing, Rob Zombie love, and Peggy from Married With Children hair. Only one problem - I’m not buying it!

Top reasons why she’s not the bad girl she thinks she is:

1. She loves Vitamin Water - Real bad asses drink water out of garden hoses ensuring plenty of iron and it’s enviro friendly - and to side with Al Gore is to side with bad ass.
2. Her intro profile song is “Welcome to the Jungle” - Sure it’s the explicit version, but it’s a SAMPLE. What’s wrong, worried about a little copyright infringement? Please. I had Chinese Democracy downloaded back when China was still a Communist country.
3. She has a thing for bad boys with “Tatts & Criminal Records” - That’s not being a bad ass, that’s dumb and typical.
4. She loves Myspace - Self-explanatory.
5. Says she’s an Atheist - Bullshit! Atheists don’t believe in Myspace.

Don’t get me wrong Bad Girl, I would do very, very “bad” things to you. Things you won’t get from your run of the mill tatted criminal douchebag!

Enjoy the rest of her the gallery: