I’ve always considered myself a Dream Guy. I’ve got a Dream Body. A Dream Wit. A Dream Job. A Dream Humility… and now I’ve got a Dream Girl! She is Miss Kristin Marie, aka The Girl Next Door.

Could this girl be any more fuckable? No. She could have a vagina like the Great Pit of Carkoon and I’d be loving it.

I guess she’s semi-famous for running a celebrity “hair salon”. I’ve seen the other stylists that work there, and while I approve of the hiring policy, I’m certain it’s not your run of the mill hair salon. What am I saying? That they also do manicures? Sort of.

My only real problem is with her pictures. There aren’t enough of them and they could stand to be a lot sluttier. Far too wholesome. I mean who is she to deny us – random computer guys of the world – good slutty pictures? Not cool Kristin.

Jesus, her adorableness is unbearable! Who am I kidding, I can’t stay mad at you Kristin. And guys, you may creep her on Myspace, but please be respectful of what she and I have.