Oh boy! It’s her Official Myspace Page! Can someone explain this whole official Myspace page garbage? I get it if it’s a major celebrity but what if someone else gets to it first? What if I decided that I’d make an official Tom Brady Myspace page? What’s to stop that from happening? Just like what’s to stop me from finding pictures of women from social networks and posting them on my sites? (Apparently Facebook didn’t like it). In any event, let’s move on to Lucia. You guys might remember my first post on her in which case I did not link to her “Official Page.” So now I’m pumped because I get to read about Lucia and it’s so interesting!

Lucia grew up in Colombia. She moved here to the US in 2002 at the age of 21. It has always been her dream to live in the states, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Lucia started off not doing much but saw a commercial for Hooters on television. She then applied for a job and before Lucia knew it she was modeling for Hooters. And then poof! A Hawaiian tropic victory later and a not too distant Playboy shoot and Lucia is now a happy model making dough. What else? She’s 5 feet tall and weighs 110 lbs. So let’s just completely disregard everything I wrote up until now. She’s 5 feet, 110, is Colombian, has ridiculous tits and sex appeal. She also speaks English with a heavy accent. That’s all I really need.

Now I don’t want to go off the deep end with this statement. Let’s get one things straight. I fully believe that Lucia is a woman. I fully believe in how hot she is. I fully believe that I might actually be able to have sex with her 24 times in a 24 hour period and survive to try and go for another 24 the next day. However, it is me or does her face kind of look a little trannyish once in a while? It’s bugging the hell out of me.

And then I see a picture like this and realize that all is pretty much right in the world

Dolphin’s like “Yeah I hit that. What up.”

More Pictures

Lucia Tovar was lost in the archive incident a few weeks back and it’s pretty easy to understand why she was immediately put back up. I remember first coming across her myspace profile and it was one of the better days of my life. And it wasn’t because I’ve seen yet another hot Latina whose skin and smile could easily sway me into murder. It was because she’s nice us enough to have her own website with nude pictures. But is that really nice enough? Is it? Obviously it’s not. It’s pure torture and yet another reminder that one day I’ll have 3 kids and like the jackass I am will have turned down a woman like this at least once in my life for the sanctity of my children and my marriage. The world is a sick sick place.

If I had no money in the world and someone just handed me $50,000 I would spend 25K for one hour with my head right where her ass is in that picture. Then I think I would make some sort of T-Shirt that says “I spent $25,000 to be near Lucia Tovar’s ass and all I got was one hour near Lucia Tovar’s ass and this shirt.”

One of, if not my favorite pictures of her. Latina skirt wearing. They should give lessons on that stuff and Tovar should be the instructor. Prize at the end of the year would be the $25,000 Lucia Tovar Fanclub Shirt.

There’s really not much to discuss in this one. I’m typed out.

Are those her underpants? Jesus Christ I think they are. That is illegal. I would pay about 3 nickels for Lucia Tovar’s drawers, have my girlfriend wear them, then read this post over and over. While that made no sense, I think it made plenty of sense.