Meet Piper. That’s right – Piper. And no, she’s not married to a Peter.

What do we know? Not much. Her profile contains less material than her shirts. I gather that she’s a decent person. Somebody who is not completely self-absorbed. Sure, she could be a huge bitch, but that would be understandable and probably very hot.

What else? We know she is down with the Jesus and plays a cowboy on T.V. (kind of like George Dubya). Oh, and she sings, then sells her singles on iTunes by showing her cleavage on Myspace. God bless capitalism!

What’s with the name? Not sure, but if she were to turn it into a symbol, it would be a nipple-less boob. Piper has the highest ratio of full boob showing to no nipple showing of any girl I’ve seen in a while.

My nipple beef - Why do we treat nipples like our illegals? Hide them away until it’s time to come out and work for the man. Screw that shit. If I ever have the power (and I’d say there’s a good chance), I’m going to make it law that everything be covered but the nipple! It would be forever known as Piper Law.

Here’s the rest of Piper for your viewing pleasure.