Rumor has it that Megan Fox will be featured in a new movie directed by Jason Reitman.  In one of the scenes Fox will be catfighting with Amanda Seyfriend right down to the underwear.  Word is that she’ll also be topless in some scene shot in the woods.  All I can say is… it’s about time.

The Best of Today 

Megan Fox, Thank the Good Lord - COED Magazine

Rob Schneider and Miss USA - Asylum

You can never get enough Veronika Zemanova - Busted Coverage

I Wonder if She’s Hot - Don Chavez

Sophie Monk Gets Attention - Dirty Rotten

Britney having car trouble - Drunkenstepfather

Always time for a Hockey Fight - On205th

Vanilla Ice Beats his wife - Holy Taco

Alabama Recruiting Video - Loser with Socks

Some Masters Highlights - Next Round

Raquel and CJ Gibson are slightly hot - Tasty Booze

Pretty Ridiculous Dancing Here - Brahsome

Cunnilingus Day? - Attuworld

The Tetris Movie - Flabber

Heidi Montag and Her Fashion - BOH

Wait a second here. Wait just a god damned minute. You mean to tell me that in the one place that I hold dear, where the southern girls flow like a water sports movie and they’re extra hospitable, that a guido and guidette crowd exist? That my friends is in Austin Texas? I mean I know Austin is a hip, young, happening place, but come on.

It’s still Texas and as far as I’m concerned Texas should be blond girls that smile a lot. Tiff (and I wish you could here me speak that name with exaggeration) is a 19 year old bad girl who thinks she’s much cooler than she is. What’s her tag line in her Myspace Profile? “I’m back so deal with it.” Hmm, I can honestly say that makes me want to puke.

She also has a ridiculous looking boyfriend which I will happily add to the pictures section. All I can say is that I weep for the future. That said I’d really like to punish this girl in the bedroom. She’s a perfect hate fuck candidate.

Definitely from behind and definitely a lot of “pull my hair and smack my ass” type of stuff. Should I be saying this about a 19 year old? Sure. People were probably saying similar stuff about Jennifer Capriati when she made her Wimbledon run at the age of 14. I’ve said my piece.

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Ladies and gentlemen. I’d like to present Nicole. I’ve searched far and wide and cannot for the life of me find her last name. Rumor has it she was a former Maryland Terps Cheerleader and another rumor has it she was banging the little seedling of the legendary easy swing, easily drug induced, beloved Met and Yankee Darryl Strawberry. Yes, DJ, those are some big shoes to fill but if you just keep a low profile, giant sized breasts like that of our newly beloved Nicole here will be yours night after night. For the record, this girl is not good looking. For another record, I’d like to bang this girl more so than most hotter girls. Why? Well, you can tell this girl gets shitcanned more often that not. And speaking of cans…done. And quite frankly she just has that look. You know, the blow job look. This girls been practicing that art since she was born. It’s just there in her eyes. We need confirmation from DJ but I know I’m right on this one. By the way, here’s her Myspace Profile.

P.S. I believe I’ve used the term CFC (Cruising for Cock) here before. Well I’m using it again. Can’t you just see Nicole strutting around in a bar looking for a dick to suck? I can. Even though she’s not fat at all, she does give off a somewhat heavier vibe. No doubt she’s been freaked about it for years, thus she stays on the thinner side (for her) and emphasizes herself from the waste up. My guess? You get to titty fuck her the first night. I just can’t see it any other way. And let us not forget about the title of this article.

Nicole needs a reality show. And here’s why. Every single guy in the country that watches MTV or any other of those reality crap shows will look at this girl and say “eh, she not that hot but man I want to bang her.” On the flip side, every girl in the country will look at her and say “ugh, she’s not even pretty, and she’s such a slut. I can’t believe they let her on TV.” That, my friends, is exactly the kind of reaction you want out of a crowd to get ratings. I need my own television channel. Brock TV - where dreams really do come true.

Is it me or could Nicole pass for a 40 year old? Now if she really were 40 then I think my dream in life would be laid out pretty clearly. Find a 40 year old woman like this and bang her for the rest of your life. Pretty easy goal in life. That said, Nicole is 24 and looks 40 which really isn’t that good a quality to have.

Ah DJ. You da man.

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She calls herself “Holly Lolly,” at least according to her Myspace Profile. Apparently Holly here is an Olly girl. I have no idea what that is nor do I really care. I know the Olly rhymes with Holly and Lolly. I know that Holly is also apparently dating Ryan Seacrest. He’s who I’d call the “Hardest working man in show business.” No one takes it to the max job wise like Seacrest does. There’s also no chance this guy is straight. Although his performance in “Knocked up” gave him a little hope. I actually thought the guy was pretty funny in that. I will say this. If the dude is straight, I suppose Holly “Lolly” Huddleston is a fine girl to start with. I also suppose that this article better get better pretty fast or I’ll simply lose interest in myself. By the way here’s another profile on her in case you guys care. Not sure where the name Holly Hilton came from though.

From her profile: “I am a total nerd. I love to laugh and I love people who can make me smile more than anything. I love a good home cooked meal and I love laying by the pool or lake in the hot sun not caring about anything but ‘am I burning? do I need sunblock?’ LOL” Did I mention that I needed this article to get better? Forgive me, it’s just gotten a hell of a lot worse. Mr. Seacrest. What are you doing bud? Sounds like this girl has the intelligence of a peanut. Then again Ryan, you probably have about 10 minutes of spare time in a given 24 hour period and you most certainly don’t need big talker in your life. Something tells me Holly isn’t the biggest talker.

And something tells me that Ryan Seacrest might not be looking for a big talker. Just a quick question. What kind of experience would it be hanging out with this guy? Where would you go? What kind of video games would you play? What game codes would you exchange? Or would you wind up with three girls dressed in body paint? If this guy is banging girls like this then it’s time for me to perm my hair and dress from the 80’s.

Seems about right.

That seems even more right.

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Well since the whole world is showing these pictures of Hayden I figured I’d jump on the bandwagon. I’m a fan. Yes, she’s hot. Whatever man, I heard she was kind of mean in real life. You would be too if you had her super powers.

The Best of Today

Hayden Panettiere Showing off her hoo hoo - COED Magazine

Babewatch: Keeley Hazell - Zootoday

Playboy U Girls Getting Drunk - Busted Coverage

Now That’s a Great Tush - Dirty Rotten (Semi NSFW)

How Ya Feeling Dirk? - Don Chavez

Trashy European Prank Stuff - Flabber

Courtney Cummz is a Camp Counselor? - Brahsome

Carnie Wilson putting it all back on - Holy Taco

More Simona Fusco Stratten - On205th

KISS Michigan Style - Loser With Socks

This Chick Hates Timberlake -Epic Carnival

Rubber Band Man Take a Cap - Tasty Booze

Scott Storch Needs to Get Punched - Next Round

Lala Vasquez Showing off some Curves - BBI